12:21pm
Library
I was waiting outside since...9am? A little after 8? I thought the library opened at 10.
It's Tuesday - that means open at noon and close at 8pm.
I could potentially just be here the rest of the day without leaving unless I want food.
Oh good, it stopped. There was some undulating bass noise ... no idea where it was
coming from...outside? Inside the wall behind me?
Last night I woke up around 1am to a sound in the walls
that stopped when the shift changed around 2am.
Like someone beating a drum slow and steady or bouncing a basketball maybe.
It stopped and I went back to bed.
....I am really trying to write exactly what I mean to say, but consider everything a rough
draft unless I say "this is exactly what I want to say, how I want to say it"....
Should we go back to Hasan? I could say "important stuff happening" but ... oh my god ... when isn't it?
I am still thawing out a little bit. I was colder than usual this morning.
Don't you just love warmth?
Before we dive into our ever present doom - thoughts and feelings?
I still just deeply want to have already had a solid partner to share my life with
and I continue to feel pain I don't think I would have been feeling if:
a) I had been taken care of differently since childhood
b) I hadn't been under duress in my own home for five years
c) the social order had a better grasp on pain management and stigma and worked out all the details about people using cannabis as medicine
Suddenly disassociatingly tired.
Yeah, maybe I am just barely hanging on but I will remain intellectually dignified. Cool.
Let's turn on Hasan.
12:44pm having sound trouble
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