Unhoused Chronicles

Wed Jan 21 : 

Forced surprise eviction without notice of when it would happen.

Absolute shock. That kind of stress is like a lobotomy.

Random kind stranger let me sleep on their couch - 3am to 8am?

Thurs Jan 22: 

Spent the day trying to figure out what motions to file and who to contact for legal assistance. Random kind stranger let me sleep on their couch - 3am to 8am?

Friday Jan 23:

Ankles incredibly swollen and painful.

Milt friend sent $300. Used $194.82 of it to stay at a hotel. They've said they would not send more money unless it was used to leave Portland, which I have no intention of doing. Got to the hotel and they waived amenities fee but someone had to put a $100 refundable hold on their card for incidentals. Slept well but don't remember how long. Took a nice shower. 

Saturday Jan 24:

Stayed at a hotel. Slept well but don't remember how long. Showered. Got groceries. ($48.81)

Sunday Jan 25:

Stayed at a hotel. Slept well but started to panic. 

Monday Jan 26:

College friend sent $75. Didn't know what would happen. Someone paid to extend my stay at the hotel. 

Tuesday Jan 27:

Milt mentor sent $75. Didn't know what would happen. Stayed at hotel. Groceries ($39.79)

Wednesday Jan 28:

I paid $144.08 to extend my stay at the hotel. 

Thursday Jan 29:

Stayed at hotel. Didn't know what would happen.

Friday Jan 30:

Paid $72.04 to extend stay one more night.

Saturday Jan 31:

Couldn't stay at the hotel any longer. Out of money. Slept at a shelter. Lots of coughing. Very hard bed. Could barely sleep. Spent day at library. They didn't have underwear or pads and I was terrified of getting my period.

Sunday Feb 1:

Milt friend sent $45. Slept at a shelter. Lots of coughing. Very hard bed. Could barely sleep. Spent day at library. 

Monday Feb 2:

Injured foot - blisted took off layers of skin. Library staff gave me new shoes. Someone got me a hotel room. Milt family sent $200. 

Tuesday Feb 3:

Foot injured and raw. Had to stay somewhere to heal. Someone got me a hotel room again. Groceries and supplies ($148.88) including underwear and pads. 

Wednesday Feb 4:

Despite trying to contact people every day I never got a motion passed or legal assistance - wasn't enough time or they "couldn't help me" because it was post-eviction even if I was arguing the eviction was not correct.

Friend from college helped me get what we could from my apartment. Was a nightmare. Couldn't have done it without them. Brought the stuff back to the hotel. 

Thursday Feb 5: 

hotel. Foot healing.

Friday Feb 6: 

hotel. Foot healing.

Groceries and supplies ($69.93)

Saturday Feb 7: 

hotel. Foot healing.

Sunday Feb 8: 

hotel. Foot healing.

Monday Feb 9: 

hotel. Foot healing. Added $20 to hop pass. Groceries and supplies ($48.01)

Tuesday Feb 10: 

hotel. Foot healing.

Wednesday Feb 11: 

hotel. Foot healing. Someone sent $80 for storage unit.

Stranger sent $22.72 donation. Groceries amd supplies ($60.43)

Thursday Feb 12: 

Didn't know what would happen. Paid $92.98 to stay one more night at hotel. 

Friday Feb 13:

Paid $74.67 for storage. Had to leave the hotel - ran out of money and help to stay. 

Saturday Feb 14:

Paid $31.07 for storage. Found sanctuary at the library. 

Sunday Feb 15: 

Rainy. Groceries ($10). Found sanctuary at the library. Use bathroom at 5pm - closes 15 minutes early. 

Monday Feb 16: 

Security guard assigned to watch over my eviction was assigned to the shelter this morning. He was friendly and stuff - not aggressive - but I wanted to puke. How could anyone not feel bad watching someone's whole life get thrown away? 

I did not deserve this and it was not my fault.

Again :

1) disability documentation ignored.

2) lived there since 2015 and was never threatened with eviction like that until new company started in 2024. The building motto was "our goal is to keep you housed".

3) supportive services stopped helping me and played games about making me meet them in person or sign an ROI which I never had to do before.

4) orgs didn't have funding to help me.

5) turned out the city had not disbursed $106 million dollars that should have gone to rent assistance.

Rainy. Groceries ($19.98). Library closed and Rose Haven not open for showers, laundry, mail. Nearby park says it has bathrooms and wifi but didn't. Grocery store lets you use the bathroom and it can fit the cart. 35.74 left in EBT. Made sandwiches but unsure how long they'll last. Needing blueberries, spinach, vegetarian protein, ginger and caffeine on a daily basis. 

Taking naproxen (anti-inflammatory/pain) and guaifenesin (expectorant) on a daily basis. Cocoa butter and tiger balm mix with peppermint soap. Brush teeth and tongue daily to cough up whatever is stuck in side my body. Mix sanitizer and water in a spray bottle and used regularly. Wearing face masks most of the time but the new shelter feels spaced out and clean enough that I just sleep with a fabric mask/hood and breathe easier. New shelter doesn't smell. Haven't showered since I left the hotel amd got rained on twice but clothing materials don't smell - attributed to using the sanitizer spray and changing clothes to sleep. Kinda surprised my feet don't stink or anything. My legs and ankles are weirdly swollen every night though - Frankenfeet - and I try to keep them elevated. 

COVID was known to make people lose sense of smell. I feel hit in the face by some people just walking past me - smells are crazy right now. 

More to fill in each day but I gotta go right now.

Until tomorrow. ✨️

Universal human rights or everything is bullshit ✨️ 

I know I can't be the only one.

 Someone helped me and I wrote this to them and thought it summed things up well:

It really is horrific and feels completely avoidable - I had provided documentation to my building about my disability multiple times. I was medically isolated since 2020. The building is designed to help vulnerable people stay housed - they have a resident assistance coordinator whose entire job is to help connect you with resources. I had lived there since 2015 but in 2024 a new property management company took over and the services side changed their domain for their emails. Then they started trying to evict me - I didn't get evicted in 2024 and then it was like a repeat in 2025. Plus the city itself did not disburse $106 million for rent assistance that also would have kept me housed. Essentially the building was supposed to help sign me up for the assistance and the city was supposed to disburse the funds to the organizations that would have helped me. When you say you got evicted people think all sorts of things but this really was not my fault and really should never happen to anyone ever again. I physically can't handle it and I have been sick now since early February. My body hurts every day - though naproxen and expectorant has helped. I lost almost everything I owned and have had to beg for help just to stay alive. This was truly cruel and I can barely think I am so horrified by all the variables. Thank you for caring. Here is a link to that news about the $106 million: 

https://youtu.be/9EKrDUvyRWs?si=TZPjpR_EJvq-sVDl

✨️

I got a storage unit and need to get my things there today. I am trying to secure the hotel room for one more night. They said they were booked this weekend because of valentine's day. I will probably have to sleep in a shelter again if no one can help me with another hotel.

The where I was is just one big room. A lot of people coughing. I could have been released into a college dorm or a hostel and it would have been the same problem - people are coughing everywhere I've gone. It is hard to sleep. I have felt sick with green snot and body aches since early February. I lost my voice during the appointment to get my stuff from my unit - urgent care did a nose swab and said it wasn't viral but instead caused by stress. They also gave me a note about my foot. The blister is healing though not completely yet. I rescued some insoles from my apartment and put them in my boots - it might look funny but if it rains they're the most waterproof shoes I have other than open toe sandals I got so I can shower. If I had not gotten a hotel room to heal I would have probably had a severe infection. 

My other ankle has been swelling where I had surgery in 2004. It looks a lot better today - I have been staying off my feet for the most part and elevating it to sleep. Also taking 1200mg of expectorant (guaifenesin) and 660mg of naproxen. Sometimes four tablets if my back hurts too. My back completely locked up yesterday while I was just trying to pack for the storage unit. 

My body has deteriorated and I can't function like I did before 2020. I have said that exact thing a lot but it seems like no one really understands. I did not choose this situation and it is not my fault. It was three parts: COVID, the hijacking of the police brutality protests and turning my street into a political theater war zone, and then neighbors terrorizing me on a daily basis in the years that followed. I had been diagnosed with PTSD in college but everything since 2020 exacerbated and caused new trauma unlike anything I had known before. 

The bangs, the booms, the weaponized sound that ran over your brain like torture. The smashing glass from the garbage trucks (that do not usually pick up glass like that in that area) and the revving motorcycles. People repeatedly screaming things that no one ever used to scream outside, unhoused or not. Uptick in violence and gun deaths and stabbings right around the building. If someone just wanted to scare people out of the area, they had one hell of a propaganda campaign. Plus gassing my unit itself with all kinds of shit to the point I could not breathe and had no where to go to get away from the pollution. 

Someday this situation will be called what it is - social murder and forced displacement of dissidents - and the future will know the whole story for once. I know I can't be the only one. 

Paypal.me/LLGamari ✨️

 I need emergency assistance.

How do I explain this better than I already have? Am I talking into a void? Did someone want bad things to happen to me?

I had not gone outside in five years - had not walked, had not shared germs - for five years. I felt terrorized on a daily basis. It was not a vacation or fun or something people should wish for - what happened to me was fucked up. And then on January 21st without warning or notice police forcibly yanked me out of my unit and put me in handcuffs and then put me outside with just my laptop and what I was wearing. I was lucky a friend came down a couple weeks later to help me get some of my things from my apartment - but I lost three quarters of my stuff. I had lived there a decade, management knew I had a documented disability, and they knew I was surviving on assistance - the purpose of that building is to keep vulnerable people housed. 

I would have never been isolated inside if COVID hadn't happened and then I was harassed and terrorized for years. 

My body has broken down. I can't function like I did before 2020. Everything is way harder than it ever used to be and I wasn't the most athletic person in the first place. Slowest member of the swim team. 

I have already gotten sick and injured my feet. I now have too much stuff to stay at the shelter where I was and I don't want to lose what little I have left. I am worried I won't be able to afford a storage unit and they will take my things if I can't pay them. I can't get a credit card or a loan. My credit is only fair and I have no income - I was applying for disability assistance since 2024. I have survived and kept the internet on thanks to donations to my gofundme. [ If anyone can help me, paypal.me/LLGamari is faster. ]

The idea of going back outside, sleeping in the big one room shelter space with everyone coughing, or having to find someplace outside and just sit with my stuff, being scared of people who would hurt me or steal my few belongings, not having a bathroom - it's destroying me. 

Most of the money I got after my dad died in 2022 went to intangible things: I donated $10,000 to charity and gave people thousands of dollars. I bought food, internet, phone and a phone plan, paid the electric bill, invested in medicine, paid the Arts Tax (that should have been waived anyway), paid rent. I bought books, most of which got left behind. I bought clothes and shoes and wigs and dresses and galaxy lights to create a character I thought I could be online - voltaverse, emo mz. frizzle, social orphan ani archy. I have worked every day and have an archive of peaceful protest streams of consciousness that I have tried to save everywhere I can. 

The Take, Contrapoints, Behind the Bastards, Hasan Piker can do it - why couldn't I?

I made music and a bandcamp. 

I also bought emergency stuff - the stuff I have now - because I was always scared they would make me unhoused. It has always been a threat.

The city just found $106 million that was supposed to go to rent assistance. It would have kept me housed. 

I am truly scared this bullshit will kill me - and worse - it was designed that way.

I have sent a letter to HUD. I have tried to reach out to everyone I can. I have felt digitally isolated for years - like my emails weren't even getting out there. I don't know what else to do. The phone is on a lifeline plan and for some reason doesn't always work - it will give me network errors. I have to at least have internet or I can't even reach out for help. 

Please fucking help me if you can, even if it just means you will support housing, internet, food stamps, health insurance, and programs for people in the future.

Paypal.me/LLGamari 

Feb. 9, 2026 update : Feb 10 update

 

Healing

Puffy

Green

The giant blister in the bottom of my foot is healing but this looks horrible :( wasn't like that before I got thrown outside after five years of medical isolation ... been coughing up green stuff too, even though the urgent care said their test was negative for virus ... if I die this shit was manslaughter - don't forget that $106 million that should have gone to rent assistance and would have helped keep me housed ...

 https://youtu.be/dscNtpYEXWk?si=8tlOIrgYyF_8Z__p

....and I can't have my stuff with me and need to get a storage unit. I can barely sleep at the shelter. I pass out from 8pm until around midnight and then it's zombie half sleep while chaos ensues around you.

 I need a bathroom.

 I need to be able to sleep. 

I need a door that locks.

 I want to keep what I managed to save from my apartment - it's only a quarter of what I had. 

Doesn't anyone think it's strange I have lived where someone could walk in while you're in the bathroom, where you couldn't have a lot of stuff, where your day is mostly dictated by someone else, where you shared a sleeping space, a shower space, an eating space with a bunch of other people - where there is no private life - for two thirds of my 36 years on earth?

Anyone?

This was pretty at least

Feb 10, 2026

Panic attack this morning.

Couldn't find a storage unit because:

- I don't know exactly where I am going to be

- How far away it will be

- Has to be accessible from public transit

- Doesn't make sense if it closes before the shelter open and if I don't get a bed then I also don't have access to stuff so I can sleep outside 

- There will be no where to sleep

- There will be nowhere to pee

- Feels like a deranged way to end up stealing what I have left of my life

- I have been poor all my life and will never get the stuff back that I bought after my dad died

- my foot is swollen and puffy. I am sick and keep getting new symptoms. I am stressed and don't know what to do to stay safe from people or sickness and some asshole thinks all of this is funny for some reason they don't have the guts (or probably the justification) to ever explain

Hello,

 

I was recently forcibly removed without notice from the low income studio apartment I called home since 2015. I had been medically isolated for the last five years and management was well aware I had documentation of disability and needed assistance programs to survive. The city of Portland also just discovered $106 million in funds that should have gone to rent assistance and would have helped keep me housed as well. I have been unhoused since January 21st and slept in a shelter for two nights, the rest in a hotel paid for by people with limited means. I have no other home and no where else to go. I had invested an entire decade into living in Portland and I feel attempts have been made to terrorize me out of the city. 

I desperately need assistance to stay safe and keep the few belongings I managed to rescue from my apartment in the limited time they gave me to get anything. They had thrown me out in only what I was wearing and I had to coordinate an appointment to get whatever I could in only one go for two hours. I lost three quarters of everything I owned. I still have too much stuff, however, to stay at the shelter. 

My body is not able to function like it did before 2020. I have had injuries to my foot and ankle and I've already gotten sick just being forced outside for a couple weeks. 

I am terrified this situation will kill me. 

I need financial assistance - hotel vouchers, help getting storage, help getting rehoused. 

 

I read there is still a program that at least provides hotel vouchers. I am currently due to leave where I am staying by tomorrow at noon and I have not been able to secure a storage unit. Everything is far away for me physically and I am scared of being outside and getting (more) sick. This was incredibly cruel especially when they knew I had been totally isolated since 2020. I do not want to die.

 

Can you please help me?

 

I have attached medical records. I am not sure what other documents you would need. 

 

Please email me back: laura.gamari@gmail.com 

Google voice (having trouble with the lifeline phone): 503 395 7067

Paypal.me/LLGamari

These places are just one giant room.

Another $20 million : I should still have my home

The city found another $20 million that should have been distributed for rent assistance. 

That means about $40 million dollars in rent assistance had just gone missing.

I am injured as a direct result of being thrown outside. 

I am lucky someone helped me get what we could from my apartment, seek medical treatment, and I have been able to stay at a hotel to heal - but they say they can't keep paying for it and I can't bring two carts to the shelter. I don't know where to sleep outside to be "safe". Everyone else has a home full of generations of stuff. To be told I just have to lose literally everything is wrong. 

Understand that I had been seeking out assistance for years because I became medically isolated and was being terrorized in my unit. I have PTSD and then my body deteriorated under duress. 

If this funding had been available I would still have my home. If management had waited for this funding I would still have my home. If they would have cared more about keeping me housed in the unit where I lived since 2015 - a decade - I would still have my home. 

What am I supposed to do?

 It's 2:51am

I can't sleep.

I feel degraded. Violated. Traumatized.

I feel like no one knew enough to care.

I worry people are being blocked online - digitally isolated - they could never see what I posted. That someone designed this.

I should have had so many friends. Things should have been so different.

I want my apartment back. I want my stuff back. I want the life I was trying to cultivate back.

I need a different word than terrified. If I get so sick I die from this, I want asteroids to fall from the sky. I want anyone who deliberately hurt me without remorse to feel followed by satellites for the rest of their lives.

My body hurts so bad. It would have been worse without naproxen. The bedding is a thin layer on top of a flat metal surface. It is warm enough but there's been so much coughing. Coughing so hard it sounded like they were puking. If there are 50 beds in here, 30 must have been coughing. 

Someone in the bed next to me tried talking to me earlier. I fell asleep. Woke up and they were gone. Their stuff is gone. I have no idea how any of this works. They said once you were in you weren't allowed to leave until morning. 

I don't know how to make anyone understand my situation. And I feel I have to or I will die. 

Totally alone - not sharing germs, not walking outside, why won't you care about how this deranged thing happened to me? Didn't COVID happen to you too?

Another woman came over earlier and said she'd gotten pneumonia first time she stayed here. I have had pneumonia like five fucking times. Plus chronic bronchitis and costochondritis. I had every justifiable reason to be worried COVID would kill me. The people here are nice and keep to themselves but just based on the sounds most of them have a respiratory issue. 

Was this attempted murder? Did people seriously do this to me knowing it might kill me?

They thought I was stupid and wanted to humiliate me, that seems clear, but were they really trying to end my life?

What the fuck am I supposed to do?