Dear President Obama,
Weed is harmless - more so than the very legal and regulated Cigarette and Booze Industries - and you know it.
Wall Street is dangerous and you know it.
Government control and taxation of Marijuana, whether strictly medicinal or recreational, could bring in billions of dollars and you know it.
The people are telling you what they want.
They're screaming it in the streets. Literally.
Why aren't you listening?
What happened to being on the right side of history?
I knew people expected way too much of you, but it's not like you haven't done anything right. You've done a lot of great things that have gone unnoticed and unpublicized.
It's obvious you're going to go down in history no matter what - so what's the deal?
And yeah, there are totally bigger things to worry about. All the more reason to just stop the madness.
Here's to hoping you fix this, or somebody runs in 2012 who will.
-L.
Showing posts with label Conversation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Conversation. Show all posts
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
Lucky 21: a mini memoir
“It’s like I’m a piece of cheese and they’re two mice, fighting over me, playing tug-of-war, pulling me apart.”
I had to be about 6 or 7. The psychiatrist, I forget his name now, was impressed. I don’t remember how my Mom and Gram responded, but it’s the first time I ever remember feeling proud of myself. In a year or so, I’d have my very own counselor to listen to my worldview – Glenda (loads of Oz jokes there) would take me out of class and we’d play games in the school cafeteria - but this was a family therapy session.
Today, language is a big part of not only how I see the world, but how I fit into it. 90% of the time, even my close friends simply cannot relate to me - and in many ways, nor I to them. It’s only through writing that I’ve been able to sort through my life, and it’s writing which has given me any hope of a brighter future.
I’ve thought a lot about how I want to execute this short essay. I could – and have – done long, lovely, "heartbreaking" accounts of my experiences, but this time I’ve decided to tell just the facts:
1) I am lucky beyond all reason.
2) I was born in December of 1989.
3) My parents are L. A. G. and A. M. E. Both have a long history of mental illness, including paranoid schizophrenia and manic depressive disorder. They never really had a relationship and never married. I knew the real meaning of “bastard” from a very early age.
4) I lived with my mother for the first year of my life, at which point she had a psychotic episode and Social Services placed me with my Gram in Adams, Mass.
5) In Adams, I lived with my Gram and older sister. She was 12 or 13 when I was born. The identity of her father is unknown.
6) We were poor, but Gram was pretty good at not letting us feel it. Only in retrospect do the constant TV dinners seem at all unusual. The language of the house was a better indicator, Gram was rough. Often angry. She swore so profusely that she’d often make up her own curses. I must have been attracted to her boldness though because I still remember her growling “What do you think I am, a goddamn story teller?!” after what must have been my 100th plea for her attention. It didn’t stop me from asking a 100 and 1 or 100 and 2nd time.
7) My sister moved out of the house at 16, and had a nervous breakdown at 18. She then married a man who she felt she was helping out. She is currently 35 and often wiggles her way into my life only to use me. “We’re sisters, we’re supposed to hate each other”, she often said. She has helped me too, when she could. It's a double edged sword, and she has her own traumas to attend to.
8) I lived with my Gram until I was 9, when she died. Unfortunately, I was present at her death. I have been prescribed Effexor XR by medical professionals at Ithaca College to treat PTSD, anxiety, and depression.
9) After Gram died, I lived in foster care for a year or so. I hated it. As you can tell by now, I'm trying to spare you deeply emotional details.
10) Summer before 5th grade, my Dad was granted custody. I was a daddy’s girl and loved living with him, mainly because I did whatever I wanted. Later it would look a lot more like neglect than privilege. Only two months together, however, I was accepted to the Milton Hershey School (MHS) in Hershey, PA.
11) MHS is a completely free, K-12, boarding school for underprivileged children, funded by the chocolate and candy sales of the Hershey Company. Yes, every time you’ve bought a Hershey product, you’ve paid for my education, or the education of someone in even worse circumstances – of which there are many. The environment is a cross between an orphanage and military school. Students live in studenthomes of about 12 or 13 people of the same gender. Kids come from all across the United States and represent an almost unnatural (but amazing! I would even say ideal) microcosm of races, religions, and obstacles, though our poverty and horror stories connect us as a school family. We’re supervised at all times by a set of married, Christian, rule-abiding houseparents. Students do chores, attend Chapel (seeing a theme here? I was never one for religion), and we live according to a merit system. In exchange, the school provides food, clothing, housing, braces, glasses, doctors, education – including a laptop and upwards of $75,000 for college – at no charge whatsoever. It was both a miracle and a living nightmare for me. It was a necessity.
12) From 5th through 7th grade, I lived with strict Christian houseparents who I feel I can genuinely say mentally abused us all and set us against each other. They terrified me. I only ever wanted their love (which I thought meant their approval) and it was my own downfall. However, all my other houseparents were perfectly well meaning people who didn't make me shake with fear, though sometimes squirm with embarrassment.
13) Academically, I found a home in the classroom at MHS that I didn’t have at C.T. Plunkett Elementary in Adams. I wasn't a "smart kid" until I started going to MHS. It was also my escape from the student home. In 6th grade, I was introduced to reading through the Harry Potter books. They were banned in Eastmore for being full of such blatant Satanism as children being out of bed, and so I had to sneak the books in and read them as quick as I could. I’d just finished Prisoner of Azkaban when my roommate told on me, and I had to stand in front of everyone and promise never to do witchcraft. At least then the books were allowed. Later, when I studied for the SATs in high school, I re-read the whole series and believe my score was directly correlated to that. Not that the SATs, or really any external value system, holds much weight with me these days.
14) Anyway, besides mathematics, the learning environment there really nurtured me. My teachers liked me, and due to the size of the school, I gained a reputation which got me out of trouble on more than one occasion – to the resentment, it seemed, of my peers. I didn't feel like I had a lot of friends though I wished they would like me. I kept close to only a few people at a time and believed it was better that way, though I regret not reaching out more now. In 8th grade, I started sleeping a lot and feeling disconnected but I dealt with it by keeping a journal. I now have digitized journal entries from every year since I was 12 years old. I did it just to feel like my life had some cohesion.
15) In high school I lost my appetite for books and saw myself stop reading outside of assignments, and then I didn’t even read those. However, no matter what I did, I still got As and Bs (again, outside of math). I was known by the other kids for being four things:
1. intelligent (in the know-it-all, I make people feel insecure kind of way)
2. bold (had my moments)
3. artistic
4. white as they come (which I got the message meant being out of touch, especially awkward and aggressively emo)
16) My proudest memory of MHS was earning a “Spartan H” for Varsity Swimming because I knew it was unexpected, even though the sport itself would send me into panic attacks.
17) I often wonder if the school legitmately prepared me for the world I would find myself living in.
18) I chose my college for its a) distance from home (far as allowed) and b) writing program. I dreamt that college was where I’d always belonged and I saw it as a utopia filled with “normal, public school people” that actually gave a shit about learning and were as intellectually curious as I was without all the dysfunctional drama. Without the psychosis that gets passed on, sometimes inevitably. I have been utterly disillusioned, but I’ve also learned a lot of important things. I've learned most people - no matter their background - just don't give themselves enough credit. I've learned that we live in a culture designed to make us hate ourselves. I've learned that problems are relative, but even so, they don't define us - our reactions, our choices, are what should define who we are. If we lived by our choices, with our thoughts out in the open, we might realize we have more in common than we ever believed possible.
19) Spring 2011 I spent the semester abroad where I earned my CELTA which allows me to teach English as a foreign language. This is what I wrote in my final reflection for the course:
“This course has been a challenge for me, and therefore it has also been an absolute pleasure. Throughout my academic career I have seldom felt challenged, though I always manage to obtain a high grade. I’ve become accustomed to skipping homework and generally procrastinating because my intellectual abilities have outweighed my behavior. I’ve sensed for a long time that I wasn’t really learning much in the classroom – that I was missing a deeper understanding – but for some reason whatever I did was declared ‘good enough’ by my teachers and so I have carried on this way until now.
In this course, I couldn’t rely on my writing abilities. I couldn’t rely on my memory to sponge up the material and then wring it out during a final exam. I have my own theories about intelligence. One part of it is that everyone has their own sense of intelligence. There are no stupid people, only uninformed or misinformed people. Further, those who excel in the classroom are able to learn in more various ways than the average person. They have visual, auditory, and tactile awareness of the material no matter how it’s presented. These learning styles do not necessarily translate into teaching styles, however. This course has taught me the difference between practice and theory.”
20) On September 29th of this semester, I had a conference with ZZ Packer as part of the Distinguished Visiting Writers program. The story she read is about a 12 year old Mexican boy named Julian Ellis and his journey through foster care. ZZ really liked it. It was the happiest day of my life – I don’t think she realized it, but her validation of my writing ability was a validation of my life. My only disappointment is my need for that validation. Nevertheless, the connections between my life experiences and the elements of that story are undeniable. The idea that I had gone through shit – all this shit you’ve now read - and now it was worth something – that I have value – it was, it is, like breaking through ice.
21) 21 – my current age – my current stage in life. I’m an oddball case, and I know it. I’ve been both a bookworm and a stoner. I’ve been both a basket case and a leader. A suck up. A rebel. A visionary. A common piece of "white trash". I want to belong, but at the same time, I want to get the hell out. Now, on what might possibly be the brink of a new life – a writer’s life – I’m once again that cheese, tugged between two worlds, part of neither. So what’s a girl to do but go back to the beginning.
Fact number one: I am lucky beyond all reason.
When I was a baby, my mother could have killed me. When I was a child, my Gram’s death and foster care and MHS could have sucked out my soul. When I was a teen, the kids in school and the overwhelming authority of countless rules and policies could have gotten to me. And without MHS I may have never gone to college - at least not a private one that's for sure. When I got to college – that fact alone lucky in itself – I could have given up, and I wanted to many, many times. In Europe I could’ve let my past control my happiness. This semester, I could’ve gone home, done with it all – done with fighting an invisible monster. Be drowned by depression and stress. But I can’t. I can’t because I’m lucky. I have no reasonable, simple, explanation for being here, but I am. So I have to keep going – I owe it to everyone who deserved just as much to be in my place. I owe it to my Gram who gave up her golden years to raise her daughter’s daughters. I owe it to talented friends who just didn’t have enough to finish their degrees. I owe it to myself, because we all need hope, love, and meaning – no matter where we find it. And if I ever do “make it”, then I’ll shed light on this dark world that 90% of even my close friends can hardly imagine, one that has sucked so many worthy minds and hearts into oblivion.
That’s my discourse, that’s where I’m coming from. That’s my story.
Any questions? Feel less alone? E-mail me:wonderverse42@gmail.com DEFUNCT
I had to be about 6 or 7. The psychiatrist, I forget his name now, was impressed. I don’t remember how my Mom and Gram responded, but it’s the first time I ever remember feeling proud of myself. In a year or so, I’d have my very own counselor to listen to my worldview – Glenda (loads of Oz jokes there) would take me out of class and we’d play games in the school cafeteria - but this was a family therapy session.
Today, language is a big part of not only how I see the world, but how I fit into it. 90% of the time, even my close friends simply cannot relate to me - and in many ways, nor I to them. It’s only through writing that I’ve been able to sort through my life, and it’s writing which has given me any hope of a brighter future.
I’ve thought a lot about how I want to execute this short essay. I could – and have – done long, lovely, "heartbreaking" accounts of my experiences, but this time I’ve decided to tell just the facts:
1) I am lucky beyond all reason.
2) I was born in December of 1989.
3) My parents are L. A. G. and A. M. E. Both have a long history of mental illness, including paranoid schizophrenia and manic depressive disorder. They never really had a relationship and never married. I knew the real meaning of “bastard” from a very early age.
4) I lived with my mother for the first year of my life, at which point she had a psychotic episode and Social Services placed me with my Gram in Adams, Mass.
5) In Adams, I lived with my Gram and older sister. She was 12 or 13 when I was born. The identity of her father is unknown.
6) We were poor, but Gram was pretty good at not letting us feel it. Only in retrospect do the constant TV dinners seem at all unusual. The language of the house was a better indicator, Gram was rough. Often angry. She swore so profusely that she’d often make up her own curses. I must have been attracted to her boldness though because I still remember her growling “What do you think I am, a goddamn story teller?!” after what must have been my 100th plea for her attention. It didn’t stop me from asking a 100 and 1 or 100 and 2nd time.
7) My sister moved out of the house at 16, and had a nervous breakdown at 18. She then married a man who she felt she was helping out. She is currently 35 and often wiggles her way into my life only to use me. “We’re sisters, we’re supposed to hate each other”, she often said. She has helped me too, when she could. It's a double edged sword, and she has her own traumas to attend to.
8) I lived with my Gram until I was 9, when she died. Unfortunately, I was present at her death. I have been prescribed Effexor XR by medical professionals at Ithaca College to treat PTSD, anxiety, and depression.
9) After Gram died, I lived in foster care for a year or so. I hated it. As you can tell by now, I'm trying to spare you deeply emotional details.
10) Summer before 5th grade, my Dad was granted custody. I was a daddy’s girl and loved living with him, mainly because I did whatever I wanted. Later it would look a lot more like neglect than privilege. Only two months together, however, I was accepted to the Milton Hershey School (MHS) in Hershey, PA.
11) MHS is a completely free, K-12, boarding school for underprivileged children, funded by the chocolate and candy sales of the Hershey Company. Yes, every time you’ve bought a Hershey product, you’ve paid for my education, or the education of someone in even worse circumstances – of which there are many. The environment is a cross between an orphanage and military school. Students live in studenthomes of about 12 or 13 people of the same gender. Kids come from all across the United States and represent an almost unnatural (but amazing! I would even say ideal) microcosm of races, religions, and obstacles, though our poverty and horror stories connect us as a school family. We’re supervised at all times by a set of married, Christian, rule-abiding houseparents. Students do chores, attend Chapel (seeing a theme here? I was never one for religion), and we live according to a merit system. In exchange, the school provides food, clothing, housing, braces, glasses, doctors, education – including a laptop and upwards of $75,000 for college – at no charge whatsoever. It was both a miracle and a living nightmare for me. It was a necessity.
12) From 5th through 7th grade, I lived with strict Christian houseparents who I feel I can genuinely say mentally abused us all and set us against each other. They terrified me. I only ever wanted their love (which I thought meant their approval) and it was my own downfall. However, all my other houseparents were perfectly well meaning people who didn't make me shake with fear, though sometimes squirm with embarrassment.
13) Academically, I found a home in the classroom at MHS that I didn’t have at C.T. Plunkett Elementary in Adams. I wasn't a "smart kid" until I started going to MHS. It was also my escape from the student home. In 6th grade, I was introduced to reading through the Harry Potter books. They were banned in Eastmore for being full of such blatant Satanism as children being out of bed, and so I had to sneak the books in and read them as quick as I could. I’d just finished Prisoner of Azkaban when my roommate told on me, and I had to stand in front of everyone and promise never to do witchcraft. At least then the books were allowed. Later, when I studied for the SATs in high school, I re-read the whole series and believe my score was directly correlated to that. Not that the SATs, or really any external value system, holds much weight with me these days.
14) Anyway, besides mathematics, the learning environment there really nurtured me. My teachers liked me, and due to the size of the school, I gained a reputation which got me out of trouble on more than one occasion – to the resentment, it seemed, of my peers. I didn't feel like I had a lot of friends though I wished they would like me. I kept close to only a few people at a time and believed it was better that way, though I regret not reaching out more now. In 8th grade, I started sleeping a lot and feeling disconnected but I dealt with it by keeping a journal. I now have digitized journal entries from every year since I was 12 years old. I did it just to feel like my life had some cohesion.
15) In high school I lost my appetite for books and saw myself stop reading outside of assignments, and then I didn’t even read those. However, no matter what I did, I still got As and Bs (again, outside of math). I was known by the other kids for being four things:
1. intelligent (in the know-it-all, I make people feel insecure kind of way)
2. bold (had my moments)
3. artistic
4. white as they come (which I got the message meant being out of touch, especially awkward and aggressively emo)
16) My proudest memory of MHS was earning a “Spartan H” for Varsity Swimming because I knew it was unexpected, even though the sport itself would send me into panic attacks.
17) I often wonder if the school legitmately prepared me for the world I would find myself living in.
18) I chose my college for its a) distance from home (far as allowed) and b) writing program. I dreamt that college was where I’d always belonged and I saw it as a utopia filled with “normal, public school people” that actually gave a shit about learning and were as intellectually curious as I was without all the dysfunctional drama. Without the psychosis that gets passed on, sometimes inevitably. I have been utterly disillusioned, but I’ve also learned a lot of important things. I've learned most people - no matter their background - just don't give themselves enough credit. I've learned that we live in a culture designed to make us hate ourselves. I've learned that problems are relative, but even so, they don't define us - our reactions, our choices, are what should define who we are. If we lived by our choices, with our thoughts out in the open, we might realize we have more in common than we ever believed possible.
19) Spring 2011 I spent the semester abroad where I earned my CELTA which allows me to teach English as a foreign language. This is what I wrote in my final reflection for the course:
“This course has been a challenge for me, and therefore it has also been an absolute pleasure. Throughout my academic career I have seldom felt challenged, though I always manage to obtain a high grade. I’ve become accustomed to skipping homework and generally procrastinating because my intellectual abilities have outweighed my behavior. I’ve sensed for a long time that I wasn’t really learning much in the classroom – that I was missing a deeper understanding – but for some reason whatever I did was declared ‘good enough’ by my teachers and so I have carried on this way until now.
In this course, I couldn’t rely on my writing abilities. I couldn’t rely on my memory to sponge up the material and then wring it out during a final exam. I have my own theories about intelligence. One part of it is that everyone has their own sense of intelligence. There are no stupid people, only uninformed or misinformed people. Further, those who excel in the classroom are able to learn in more various ways than the average person. They have visual, auditory, and tactile awareness of the material no matter how it’s presented. These learning styles do not necessarily translate into teaching styles, however. This course has taught me the difference between practice and theory.”
20) On September 29th of this semester, I had a conference with ZZ Packer as part of the Distinguished Visiting Writers program. The story she read is about a 12 year old Mexican boy named Julian Ellis and his journey through foster care. ZZ really liked it. It was the happiest day of my life – I don’t think she realized it, but her validation of my writing ability was a validation of my life. My only disappointment is my need for that validation. Nevertheless, the connections between my life experiences and the elements of that story are undeniable. The idea that I had gone through shit – all this shit you’ve now read - and now it was worth something – that I have value – it was, it is, like breaking through ice.
21) 21 – my current age – my current stage in life. I’m an oddball case, and I know it. I’ve been both a bookworm and a stoner. I’ve been both a basket case and a leader. A suck up. A rebel. A visionary. A common piece of "white trash". I want to belong, but at the same time, I want to get the hell out. Now, on what might possibly be the brink of a new life – a writer’s life – I’m once again that cheese, tugged between two worlds, part of neither. So what’s a girl to do but go back to the beginning.
Fact number one: I am lucky beyond all reason.
When I was a baby, my mother could have killed me. When I was a child, my Gram’s death and foster care and MHS could have sucked out my soul. When I was a teen, the kids in school and the overwhelming authority of countless rules and policies could have gotten to me. And without MHS I may have never gone to college - at least not a private one that's for sure. When I got to college – that fact alone lucky in itself – I could have given up, and I wanted to many, many times. In Europe I could’ve let my past control my happiness. This semester, I could’ve gone home, done with it all – done with fighting an invisible monster. Be drowned by depression and stress. But I can’t. I can’t because I’m lucky. I have no reasonable, simple, explanation for being here, but I am. So I have to keep going – I owe it to everyone who deserved just as much to be in my place. I owe it to my Gram who gave up her golden years to raise her daughter’s daughters. I owe it to talented friends who just didn’t have enough to finish their degrees. I owe it to myself, because we all need hope, love, and meaning – no matter where we find it. And if I ever do “make it”, then I’ll shed light on this dark world that 90% of even my close friends can hardly imagine, one that has sucked so many worthy minds and hearts into oblivion.
That’s my discourse, that’s where I’m coming from. That’s my story.
Any questions? Feel less alone? E-mail me:
Thursday, April 9, 2009
An E-mail to my Women's Studies Professor
I’m trying very hard to keep today’s readings in perspective. I’m trying very hard to keep the link between women’s studies and these religious struggles, but I’m having a very difficult time. I’m an atheist. I understand the importance of acceptance, no matter what you believe. To say that atheism should be forced down people’s throats is the very same thing as having religious people demand conversion of other’s to their views – it’s just as wrong. It’s just as much of an invasion on people’s rights to happiness, to live their lives freely. Nevertheless, I can’t help but see these women complaining and kind of laugh. To me, it’s all the part of their submission to this mythology.
This is why I’ve chosen not to come to class today. Part of me feels like a coward, but the other feels like a mean critic, who will do more harm than good in my participation in this discussion. My purpose is not to insult a group of harmless, young women (and possibly two men, though I think David might share my sympathies to an extent). My real issue is religion as a whole, with those in power who string people along like puppets to war – to die for a religious, or somehow moral, cause. My issue is with the hate toward the “different” in this world, and those who stand with groups who hate. I can’t take the hypocrisy or the death or the oblivion of their followers. I can’t stand the rationalizations.
You write in “The Black Ewe Syndrome”, “I’m lucky because so many people remain in the herd, just another sheep in the flock.” Already I fear I will insult you, and I don’t want to do that. I am a person before I am an embodiment of some kind of religious or anti-religious idea. You are a professor who I have enjoyed immensely in class, and who I respect (which really can’t be said for all). Nevertheless, when I read that quote, I thought “well, you’re half-way there. Now protest the entire establishment all together, the entire basis of fear on which all religion derives its power, and then perhaps you will lead the flock as a Sheppard instead of just the sheep in the front row”.
I have flipped through the entire Religion section in WIR and SF. It’s evident that, just like anywhere else, Atheism has no place is discussions of religion. The closest thing I could find talked about “secular” feminists, “secular” is the nice, non-threatening word they use. “Interestingly, secular feminists have begun to ask questions about religion. The historic approach of feminism has been near total rejection of religion, as well as some suspicion of women who are religious. Yet growing interest(s)….[combined with recognition]….have opened the door for real collaboration between secular and religious feminists.” (483, SF). Further “The Inner Space” talks about alternative religion, but religion all the same.
It is not that I can’t make connections to these struggles. I nearly cried when I read “Revelations” on page 298. I too have experienced the onslaught of people telling me I will go to hell, almost with a smile on their face, my own father included (my mother is even worse).* I too have had people “quote-at-me”. I can empathize with the struggles of a woman trying to break into a power structure comprised of only men. And I can understand the frustration, anger, and injustice of having to sit back while someone dictates the right way to live – who has control over all these people, and they follow him, and you try to speak out but no one hears you, they don’t want to hear you.
Religion is Jenga, pick and choose the issues you want to deal with, but enough come out and the whole structure falls – so no one wants to take out the pieces, not for a moment.
As a woman and an Atheist, my troubles are not as distant as they seem to the ones in our reading. I share the same biology of women. I share the same pay and same sexual repression and same issues of beauty and violence and how that all gets mixed into the “ideal girl”. I get just as frustrated when I hear “men” talk about “girls”, “hoes”. I am just as angry as all other women. The difference is that I am part of the most “untrustworthy group in America.” I am the ultimate infidel. I am hated by every religious group in the world on one level or another. I cannot say, well I’m a feminist, but don’t worry, I am redeemable because I go to the same church as you. I am not even included in the religion section of the bookstore downtown, because it might insult those who purchase other texts there. People are scared of me – pity me – want to convert and change my mind - and yet I’m the one who will not be in class today, because I see no greater purpose in insulting your point of view.
Universal human rights or everything is bullshit.
*6/13/25 edit
Sunday, May 27, 2007
A LETTER
Dear Pastor W, Mr. V, Mr. W and readers of "The Age",
It is out of the sincerest respect and deepest appreciation of Milton Hershey School,
having provided me with both academic and social education which I
could not have received at home, that I am discontinuing my "The Age"
e-mails.
Earlier today I received the following message from Pastor W in response to one of my "The Age" e-mails:
"Laura - You will stop this inappropriate use of your e-mail privilege right now. You
are free to believe whatever you want about God, prayer, and all
spiritual things, and, when your not on the MHS campus, you can practice
your belief system any way you would like. But on our campus, belief in the reality of God will be taught and faith in God will be encouraged. If
you choose to continue to abuse your e-mail privilege by promoting what
is diametrically opposed to the beliefs of the school, your e-mail will
be taken away from you. If you want to talk privately about your beliefs, let me know!"
The
purpose of these e-mails – as the recipients were well aware - was to
explore Bible verses and other religious themed materials. With
the disbandment of the high school philosophy club "Truth Seekers", I
wanted to create an opportunity for my friends to explore both their
personal views and alternative ideas with each other. The students
involved come from various faiths and each has a different religious
history.
I used e-mail because it was the easiest and most direct form of communication for busy students.
Even
the most faithful Christian teenager (as responses to my "The Age"
e-mails have proven) will have questions and concerns about their own
faith. These could lead their thoughts toward another system of beliefs
or even Atheism (the belief that god does not exist). Should these
questioning students be shunned? Isolated? Out rightly ignored? Should
these students be denied the opportunity for unbiased discussion/debate
on the subject with their peers?
Many
times, I have found that my comments – should another person find them
faulty – have done nothing but strengthen their resolve in their own
faith. I highly doubt that the goal of MHS is to
lead students to faith through uneducated blindness and fear. The views
of the school and my own may be polar opposites, but I am confident that
the intentions of both are of the purest quality. Despite the
undeniable reality that MHS solely supports Christian beliefs, I still
hope to create a peaceful awareness of alternative views – even those
that I do not share. Simply, we are each passionate about what we feel
is right, and we take the responsibility of communicating that truth
personally.
The
greatest asset a school can bestow upon its students is the opportunity
to develop a true sense of self. All the memorized math equations in
the world cannot compare with the confidence and success that comes with
knowing who you are, what you stand for, and why. The
consequences of silencing these students will be far more devastating
than exposing them to what is a "diametrically opposed" belief.
With Respect, Integrity, and a Positive Spirit,
Laura L. Gamari
Studenthome: Clearview
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Know Where You Stand
Religion at Milton Hershey School
An Editorial by Laura L. Gamari
“Last year, I told some girls in my student home what I believed in. They forced me into the living room and were trying to explain to me why I should believe what they believe (Christianity). They literally called my religion “stupid” and turned my serious beliefs into a joke.”
– S, Wiccan
“The school doesn’t really seem to care about other people’s faith. The school will not provide transportation to Jewish students for Temple so that they can expand their religious faith. The school only serves to the Christian community. I feel that, for our student body, diversity of faith is important.” –J, Christian
“My old Houseparents made me place a Bible on my headboard, so I placed a copy of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. I received 10 days of detention. They made me take down song lyrics I had on my tack-board (Don McLean’s “American Pie”, where the lyrics went: “No angel born in Hell/could break that Satan’s spell”). So I put up a lyric from Slayer's "Jesus Saves" (" For all respect you cannot lust/in an invisible man you place your trust"). I received 20 days of detention. I received 3 hours of chores for objecting to Pastor Mike’s explanation of Euthanasia as “killing someone you don’t think should live anymore.” Most recently, I confronted the school about starting a Gay/Straight Alliance – which is common in schools across America – but was denied even consideration based on the Judeo-Christian values of the school. So, do I feel there is religious intolerance at MHS? Yeah, you could say that.”
- Anonymous, Atheist
–
Is Milton Hershey School intolerant, and even oppressive, when it comes to matters of religion? Whenever the topic of faith is allowed to be broached, the situation can easily transform from a discussion into a riot. The purpose of this editorial is to explore, from the perspective of various members of the MHS community, the issue of religion for Senior Hall students.
While Christianity is, by far, the most common standing on religion at Milton Hershey School, it is not the only one. Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, Jainists, Wiccans, and Atheists walk the halls and vacuum the service porch along with everybody else. Yet at MHS, any inquiry about recognizing beliefs, other than Christianity, is usually answered by Houseparents and Administration alike with: “Milton and Catherine Hershey were Christians, and so our school is established on their faith.”
While students may cringe about this: the adults are right. (Kind of.)
The Hershey Archives (www.hersheyarchives.org) explains, “Both the Hershey and Snavely families were originally Mennonite.” However, “though Milton's mother was a staunch member of the Reformed Mennonite Church…formal religion was never a part of Milton Hershey's life. When he was asked once what his religion was, he is said to have replied, "The Golden Rule." The Golden Rule, of course, is “Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you.” So important was this rule to Milton Hershey, that is hangs in every student home on campus. Religious Tolerance.org (www.religioustolerance.org) lists 21 world religions that have a version of The Golden Rule in their faith.
With that in mind, did Milton Hershey want his school to teach one religion, or the tolerance of other’s choices? An answer may be found, written in Hershey’s own words, in the very document that established MHS - the Deed of Trust. Article 17 of the Deed of Trust, which is on the MHS Intranet (http://intranet.apps.mhs-pa.org), states:
“The School shall be non-sectarian, but the moral and religious training of the scholars shall be properly looked after and cared for by the Managers. No favoritism shall be shown; by the Managers to any particular sect or creed. Each scholar shall be taught to speak the truth at all times, and each and every scholar shall be thoroughly trained to habits of economy, and industry.”
But, what is non-sectarian? A literal definition from Merriam Webster Dictionary defines non-sectarian as: “Not affiliated with or restricted to a particular religious group.” So, shouldn’t that mean that students are free to practice or believe anything they are inclined to? According to the “Statement of Religion,” policy 5.04, (this can be found by searching the word “Religion” on the MHS Intranet) the answer is “No”. The Policy states that:
“It is our interpretation that "nonsectarian", within the context of 1909 and the writing of the Trust and, in keeping with our heritage, we will not permit exclusion of students of other denominations, sects, or creeds. It is a right in the United States to hold to a particular belief system, according to the U.S. Constitution. The same is true at Deed of Trust, means to be "non-denominational" within the Judeo-Christian heritage.”
The school has, indeed, made attempts to accommodate more worldly views in our community. Students are not screened for their religious affiliation upon enrollment and there have not been any reported cases of a student being terminated based on their religious affiliation. Judeo-Christian does not mean “Christianity”, but actually having historical roots in both Judaism and Christianity. In fact, Policy 5.04 continues to declare:
“We also believe that it is essential to demonstrate respect for others' beliefs and traditions as stated in the Deed Milton Hershey School, as long as that belief system does not cause physical or emotional harm to the student or others. Therefore, to the extent that we are reasonably able, we will continue to be supportive of the religious needs of all students.”
The issue is not truly that Milton Hershey School is intolerant of non-Christian beliefs, but that there is little follow-through or support for more open-minded and tolerant action. Under the L- Administration, the school attempted to be more ecumenical. Chaplin S would quote from the Torah and Koran along with the Bible in Chapel, as well as touch on Hindu prayers and Buddhist rituals (In 2003, Chaplin S left and was replaced by Pastor W). The effort to have the Torah and the Koran next to the Bible in student homes has been made, though seldom enforced by Houseparents.
A World Religions class is available for the 10th and 12th grades. Yet, students have reviewed this class as “highly biased” and “a class where you’ll learn the name of a religion, why it’s wrong, and how to convert its followers to Christianity.” C expressed, “Even though my religion, Jehovah’s Witness, is under the Christian umbrella – my beliefs were still discriminated against and joked about in the class.” S said, “I have not yet attended World Religions class, but I’ve been informed that it is a stereotypical representation of each religion and is extremely demeaning to other religions except Christianity.”
As the opening statements to this editorial suggest, discrete, scarring and tragically unnecessary forms of intolerance and “intervention” occur behind closed doors. An anonymous student recalled, “I’ve been in student homes where the Houseparents encouraged the others to talk to me about God. I kind of believed in God at the time, but Christianity just seemed twisted to me. Well, they would start reading Bible passages out loud whenever I was in the room, or tell me they would pray for me, or that I was going to hell. I felt pressured to conform and the Houseparents demanded that I bow my head and close my eyes whenever we prayed. I tried very hard to appease them and at least be respectful, but I never received that respect back from them. It’s a mind game, really, but no one really understands or cares until it happens to them. The worst of it is - this was only 5th grade. Why is that okay?”
Whether the school is right or wrong about their stance on religion, it’s not up to us to decide. All we, as students, can do is stick to our own personal beliefs and practice tolerance with everybody else. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” – The Golden Rule – it is at the heart of tolerance.
Luke 6:37 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven
An Editorial by Laura L. Gamari
“Last year, I told some girls in my student home what I believed in. They forced me into the living room and were trying to explain to me why I should believe what they believe (Christianity). They literally called my religion “stupid” and turned my serious beliefs into a joke.”
– S, Wiccan
“The school doesn’t really seem to care about other people’s faith. The school will not provide transportation to Jewish students for Temple so that they can expand their religious faith. The school only serves to the Christian community. I feel that, for our student body, diversity of faith is important.” –J, Christian
“My old Houseparents made me place a Bible on my headboard, so I placed a copy of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. I received 10 days of detention. They made me take down song lyrics I had on my tack-board (Don McLean’s “American Pie”, where the lyrics went: “No angel born in Hell/could break that Satan’s spell”). So I put up a lyric from Slayer's "Jesus Saves" (" For all respect you cannot lust/in an invisible man you place your trust"). I received 20 days of detention. I received 3 hours of chores for objecting to Pastor Mike’s explanation of Euthanasia as “killing someone you don’t think should live anymore.” Most recently, I confronted the school about starting a Gay/Straight Alliance – which is common in schools across America – but was denied even consideration based on the Judeo-Christian values of the school. So, do I feel there is religious intolerance at MHS? Yeah, you could say that.”
- Anonymous, Atheist
–
Is Milton Hershey School intolerant, and even oppressive, when it comes to matters of religion? Whenever the topic of faith is allowed to be broached, the situation can easily transform from a discussion into a riot. The purpose of this editorial is to explore, from the perspective of various members of the MHS community, the issue of religion for Senior Hall students.
While Christianity is, by far, the most common standing on religion at Milton Hershey School, it is not the only one. Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, Jainists, Wiccans, and Atheists walk the halls and vacuum the service porch along with everybody else. Yet at MHS, any inquiry about recognizing beliefs, other than Christianity, is usually answered by Houseparents and Administration alike with: “Milton and Catherine Hershey were Christians, and so our school is established on their faith.”
While students may cringe about this: the adults are right. (Kind of.)
The Hershey Archives (www.hersheyarchives.org) explains, “Both the Hershey and Snavely families were originally Mennonite.” However, “though Milton's mother was a staunch member of the Reformed Mennonite Church…formal religion was never a part of Milton Hershey's life. When he was asked once what his religion was, he is said to have replied, "The Golden Rule." The Golden Rule, of course, is “Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you.” So important was this rule to Milton Hershey, that is hangs in every student home on campus. Religious Tolerance.org (www.religioustolerance.org) lists 21 world religions that have a version of The Golden Rule in their faith.
With that in mind, did Milton Hershey want his school to teach one religion, or the tolerance of other’s choices? An answer may be found, written in Hershey’s own words, in the very document that established MHS - the Deed of Trust. Article 17 of the Deed of Trust, which is on the MHS Intranet (http://intranet.apps.mhs-pa.org), states:
“The School shall be non-sectarian, but the moral and religious training of the scholars shall be properly looked after and cared for by the Managers. No favoritism shall be shown; by the Managers to any particular sect or creed. Each scholar shall be taught to speak the truth at all times, and each and every scholar shall be thoroughly trained to habits of economy, and industry.”
But, what is non-sectarian? A literal definition from Merriam Webster Dictionary defines non-sectarian as: “Not affiliated with or restricted to a particular religious group.” So, shouldn’t that mean that students are free to practice or believe anything they are inclined to? According to the “Statement of Religion,” policy 5.04, (this can be found by searching the word “Religion” on the MHS Intranet) the answer is “No”. The Policy states that:
“It is our interpretation that "nonsectarian", within the context of 1909 and the writing of the Trust and, in keeping with our heritage, we will not permit exclusion of students of other denominations, sects, or creeds. It is a right in the United States to hold to a particular belief system, according to the U.S. Constitution. The same is true at Deed of Trust, means to be "non-denominational" within the Judeo-Christian heritage.”
The school has, indeed, made attempts to accommodate more worldly views in our community. Students are not screened for their religious affiliation upon enrollment and there have not been any reported cases of a student being terminated based on their religious affiliation. Judeo-Christian does not mean “Christianity”, but actually having historical roots in both Judaism and Christianity. In fact, Policy 5.04 continues to declare:
“We also believe that it is essential to demonstrate respect for others' beliefs and traditions as stated in the Deed Milton Hershey School, as long as that belief system does not cause physical or emotional harm to the student or others. Therefore, to the extent that we are reasonably able, we will continue to be supportive of the religious needs of all students.”
The issue is not truly that Milton Hershey School is intolerant of non-Christian beliefs, but that there is little follow-through or support for more open-minded and tolerant action. Under the L- Administration, the school attempted to be more ecumenical. Chaplin S would quote from the Torah and Koran along with the Bible in Chapel, as well as touch on Hindu prayers and Buddhist rituals (In 2003, Chaplin S left and was replaced by Pastor W). The effort to have the Torah and the Koran next to the Bible in student homes has been made, though seldom enforced by Houseparents.
A World Religions class is available for the 10th and 12th grades. Yet, students have reviewed this class as “highly biased” and “a class where you’ll learn the name of a religion, why it’s wrong, and how to convert its followers to Christianity.” C expressed, “Even though my religion, Jehovah’s Witness, is under the Christian umbrella – my beliefs were still discriminated against and joked about in the class.” S said, “I have not yet attended World Religions class, but I’ve been informed that it is a stereotypical representation of each religion and is extremely demeaning to other religions except Christianity.”
As the opening statements to this editorial suggest, discrete, scarring and tragically unnecessary forms of intolerance and “intervention” occur behind closed doors. An anonymous student recalled, “I’ve been in student homes where the Houseparents encouraged the others to talk to me about God. I kind of believed in God at the time, but Christianity just seemed twisted to me. Well, they would start reading Bible passages out loud whenever I was in the room, or tell me they would pray for me, or that I was going to hell. I felt pressured to conform and the Houseparents demanded that I bow my head and close my eyes whenever we prayed. I tried very hard to appease them and at least be respectful, but I never received that respect back from them. It’s a mind game, really, but no one really understands or cares until it happens to them. The worst of it is - this was only 5th grade. Why is that okay?”
Whether the school is right or wrong about their stance on religion, it’s not up to us to decide. All we, as students, can do is stick to our own personal beliefs and practice tolerance with everybody else. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” – The Golden Rule – it is at the heart of tolerance.
Luke 6:37 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven
2023 : See :
https://www.mhskids.org/about/history/
DEED OF TRUST
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Being Wrong
Have you ever been told that "you always have to be right"?
Or
Have you ever told someone else they always have to be right?
Try this:
It's right to be wrong, and wrong to be right.
What is "being right"?
For students like us, it means knowing the truth - memorizing facts.
Facts are provable – Knowledge is provable.
And knowledge comes from a source: a textbook (written by people), a teacher (a person), The History/Discovery channel (more people) – and experience (you).
The first problem with knowledge is that it is documented by humans.
Humans make mistakes, forget, lie, embellish, and destroy.
In 2007 - we just do the best we can to figure it all out.
The second problem with facts, and the point of this e-mail, is that facts are knowledge from the past. The past could be 2,000 years ago, or 2 seconds. The people who remember could number in the millions, or one person. The world that is changed could be a small town – or the whole of the earth.
Knowledge is – extremely – important…..when it comes to:
-Remembering what came before us, so we don’t make the same mistakes
-Giving honor to people who changed the world – and how they changed it
-To give us a sense of perspective
-Realizing “what came before”
-To give life a purpose. Who cares what you do, if no one will remember it? If nothing will be changed by it?
However: Knowledge is the opposite of originality. Experience is the opposite of creativity.
Originality and Creativity – not [only] in the context of arts, but in everything - they are what fuel great change. Everyone knows that – but they know because a book said so – not because they lived it.
And when we rely on knowledge alone: we are stuck.
No innovation – good or bad – can come ONLY from knowledge.
School is about soaking up facts – and spitting them out.
Good student, average, or bad – it depends on A) how much you soak up and B) how much you care. That’s the secret – that’s it.
So what’s wrong with being right?
Being right means you are stuck.
Being right means you go on what you know – what you’ve been told, what you’ve read, and what you’ve done before.
This works in school.
This fails miserably in life.
What to do? BE WRONG.
Naturally, no one wants to be wrong. No one wants to be the person who has stupid ideas. No one wants to go through the trouble of being Original and Creative when other people will stop and stare, roll their eyes, ignore you, or laugh. Being wrong is a risk.
You can look at this risk in two ways:
- Risks are a measure of people. Those who don’t take risks, or mock other people’s risks, are relying on knowledge. They are trying to preserve what they are – they do not want change. Or maybe they are just afraid of it.
- Not all risks are good ones – but being WRONG has more POSSIBILITIES than being RIGHT. Being right is living in the past, being wrong is neither the past nor the future – it’s just a possibility. A really great wrong thing becomes right.
In the end, if you really believe in something, stand by it.
Taking the risk is not enough. After they mock you or ignore you – that is when you need to stand your ground. LET THEM KNOW YOU ARE SERIOUS. This is not a joke; you are not just being a smart-ass. If you want it done – do it yourself.
BE WRONG.
Or
Have you ever told someone else they always have to be right?
Try this:
It's right to be wrong, and wrong to be right.
What is "being right"?
For students like us, it means knowing the truth - memorizing facts.
Facts are provable – Knowledge is provable.
And knowledge comes from a source: a textbook (written by people), a teacher (a person), The History/Discovery channel (more people) – and experience (you).
The first problem with knowledge is that it is documented by humans.
Humans make mistakes, forget, lie, embellish, and destroy.
In 2007 - we just do the best we can to figure it all out.
The second problem with facts, and the point of this e-mail, is that facts are knowledge from the past. The past could be 2,000 years ago, or 2 seconds. The people who remember could number in the millions, or one person. The world that is changed could be a small town – or the whole of the earth.
Knowledge is – extremely – important…..when it comes to:
-Remembering what came before us, so we don’t make the same mistakes
-Giving honor to people who changed the world – and how they changed it
-To give us a sense of perspective
-Realizing “what came before”
-To give life a purpose. Who cares what you do, if no one will remember it? If nothing will be changed by it?
However: Knowledge is the opposite of originality. Experience is the opposite of creativity.
Originality and Creativity – not [only] in the context of arts, but in everything - they are what fuel great change. Everyone knows that – but they know because a book said so – not because they lived it.
And when we rely on knowledge alone: we are stuck.
No innovation – good or bad – can come ONLY from knowledge.
School is about soaking up facts – and spitting them out.
Good student, average, or bad – it depends on A) how much you soak up and B) how much you care. That’s the secret – that’s it.
So what’s wrong with being right?
Being right means you are stuck.
Being right means you go on what you know – what you’ve been told, what you’ve read, and what you’ve done before.
This works in school.
This fails miserably in life.
What to do? BE WRONG.
Naturally, no one wants to be wrong. No one wants to be the person who has stupid ideas. No one wants to go through the trouble of being Original and Creative when other people will stop and stare, roll their eyes, ignore you, or laugh. Being wrong is a risk.
You can look at this risk in two ways:
- Risks are a measure of people. Those who don’t take risks, or mock other people’s risks, are relying on knowledge. They are trying to preserve what they are – they do not want change. Or maybe they are just afraid of it.
- Not all risks are good ones – but being WRONG has more POSSIBILITIES than being RIGHT. Being right is living in the past, being wrong is neither the past nor the future – it’s just a possibility. A really great wrong thing becomes right.
In the end, if you really believe in something, stand by it.
Taking the risk is not enough. After they mock you or ignore you – that is when you need to stand your ground. LET THEM KNOW YOU ARE SERIOUS. This is not a joke; you are not just being a smart-ass. If you want it done – do it yourself.
BE WRONG.
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