4:11pm 

library

 

It's so fucking hot.

It has been for days.

If I get a shower, I'm drenched through my clothes. 

The clothes are getting ruined.

People peed on my stuff.

And then I seem to smell like it.

And then it's hot.

It sucks. It all sucks.

 

People fuck with me where I sleep.

Wake me up at 3am with no where to pee.

Like they're fucking waiting for you - fucking creeps.

 

I'm bound to get an infection if I haven't already.

I need to bathe for a week.

I don't want anyone near me.

 

Hasan Piker isn't online this week and he's been a dopamine source so ... he probably has to make it up to whoever ... I guess that would take a week

 

[you're delusional laura, you're fucking delusional]

whatever. this was done to me on purpose. 

 

I want to eat something.

Everything is too expensive.

I ended up buying pumpkins seeds that were on sale, marshmellows, and some bananas. 
They had multigrain cheerios but all that cereal gave me a stomach ache just looking at it.

 

Looking at the books in front of me - who wrote them? Who let them write it and publish it and have it be seen? Why?

 

Why would you bitch about "wHeRe's HaSaN" when you need to keep yelling everything since 2020 has been a tactic of genocide and we are being used to kill each other off until all that's left are some asshat's family, friends, and favorites

 

I think the librarians here might be ... not anybody's friend.

 

Worried about it.

 

The ones at the Northwest Library fucked with me, these ones are talking about fucking fire drills and told some lady she couldn't keep her bike someplace or something - it's so chill here like why worry about anything, you can feel other peoples' energy so hard and too many are like up your ass for some unknown reason - meanwhile the central gave me sneakers when the skin peeled off the bottom of my foot in February but they had someone else there who was like leading a cacophony of coughing once. I do like it there though.

 

I am traumatized and sore. My brain might as well be bruised. Stop acting like I'm not good enough because a perfect book hasn't conveniently spilled out of me - you'd have to rip me off and ruin the point of everything. Fuck you for that.

 

 I'm trying to charge devices, upload files...I am so tired. 

 

They're killing me you guys.

This whole thing has been slowly fucking killing me.

Playing it off like something worthwhile will ever come of it.

They're just fucking killing me.

 

And they're disgusting and not funny and full of hate and stupidity and it's not worth anyone's fucking existence.

 

"They" are all the people fucking with me and they know it. 

Some interconnected conglomerate of people from everywhere with every background so they can play off anything.

Fuck you for hating me.

Fuck you for every fucked thing you're ever done and would just do again because you don't care about anyone but yourselves. NO ONE WAS BORN TO BE USED BY YOU. 

 

I have three hours. 

Three hours and back to trudging up the get my stuff, hang it up - I've had TWO death threats about hanging in a tree COOL - they stole my fucking rope too - it's like these dipshits do fucked stuff to you 

23yuuuuuuuuuulike it will drive you into their friend's fucking house but you don't get in cars, don't go in houses, and aren't going to become dependent on anyone like that.  Everything is a program trying to get you to do shit or go somewhere. GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME and STOP MAKING OBLIVIOUS PEOPLE THINK I AM JUST CRAZY.

 

I am hungry.

I can't think.

I don't want to physically leave this space I am sick of being in the hot.

 

All of this is a cruel and unnecessary power move only monsters would do to people.

Only monsters would let happen to me and NOT STOP IT.

 

I guess I am going to try to set my stuff up so it can stay charging and go outside and play some chess on my phone.