Unhoused chonicles : live stream of conciousness peaceful protest every day

2:11pm 

Library

Listening to Hasan Piker

 

Still the same shit I would have been doing in my room when I had my apartment. 

I mean that in a good way.

Watch Hasan, watch the news, make notes, peaceful protest, letters to the future, add music sometimes.  

I got so excited someone asked about my outfits and I thought maybe they would really be into them and now I'm worried they'll see how expensive this shit was and think weird shit about me. I hope not. I told them I thought the outfits should be considered medical devices for body dysmorphia - they seemed to understand.

No one around me is talking about Iran.

I ended up in conversation with a Trump supporter today. They spoke about how everyone deserves respect - and of course I understand and agree - but it's hard to really respect someone who would still vote for trump today and doesn't have a better explanation than "they made us". Being respectful and actually respecting someone - two very different concepts. 

 

Maybe you just live so many years and basic shit starts to seem like more than a coincidence to you - like after you've heard the same unique phase 30,000 times it starts to feel like code - to make up an example.

 

This example was "forest for the trees" 

 

How do you put into words knowing the bigger story - geopolitics news - is more important but you feel like life around you almost annoyingly presses forward without any sense of what's happening anywhere else. It knows you care, it doesn't give a fuck, it thinks you're a joke for caring, and it goes on and on and on.

 

I have things I want to say about the Trump supporter but my back is aching - I think I tore something in my back/shoulder/next to my spine or might have a pinched nerve. They just gave me some kind of  - Arnica.

google ai says:

Arnica (Arnica montana) is a mountain daisy plant commonly used in homeopathic gels, creams, and tablets to treat bruises, swelling, muscle aches, and osteoarthritis. It works by using compounds like helenalin to reduce inflammation and potentially stimulate blood circulation, which helps speed up tissue healing and decrease pain. 

Key Details About Arnica:

• How it Works: Topical applications act as anti-inflammatories and, through compounds like thymol, promote blood flow to injured areas, reducing swelling and pain.
• Common Uses: Used topically for bruises, sports injuries, sprains, muscle soreness, and osteoarthritis pain
  .
Application & Safety: Primarily used as a topical cream or gel; it should never be used on open wounds or broken skin.
Risks: While safe topically, consuming raw arnica is poisonous, causing vomiting, diarrhea, and heart issues.
Effectiveness: Studies are mixed, but some evidence suggests it is as effective as ibuprofen for certain types of arthritis pain. 

Arnica is generally considered safe for external, short-term use, but it is advised to consult a healthcare provider, especially if you are on blood thinners. 

I do feel better just between the hot shower and the peppermint soap and getting a moment to myself. Maybe the arnica helped - I also put a heating pad there.

I asked google ai: "no country on earth has a purely communist or socialist government - it is all mixed capitalism"

 

response: 

That is a very accurate observation. In practice, virtually every modern nation operates as a

mixed economy, sitting somewhere on a spectrum between state control and free-market capitalism. 

Even countries often labeled as communist or socialist incorporate market elements to function in a globalized world: 

• China and Vietnam: Both maintain a one-party communist political system but have embraced market socialism, allowing significant private enterprise and foreign investment to drive growth.
• Democratic Socialist/Social Democratic models: Countries like Norway or Sweden are often mislabeled; they are actually robust capitalist market economies that use high taxation to fund extensive social safety nets.
• The United States: While leaning heavily toward the "free market," it utilizes government intervention through subsidies, social security, and public infrastructure. 

The distinction usually comes down to who owns the means of production and how much the state regulates the flow of capital. Pure "textbook" versions of these ideologies rarely survive the complexities of real-world logistics and human behavior. 

Are you looking at this from an economic efficiency perspective, or are you more interested in how these labels affect modern political debates?

The day shelter helped me fix my umbrella today, gave me special vegetarian food when there wasn't any at lunch, gave me things to curl my hair while I'm sleeping, got two bags that insulate food (the first one's zipper broke), sanitizer pen, a cool thing you heat with hot water...

 

2:35pm 

My phone is glitching and can't get a charge from the cord. Gotta be kidding me.  

 

I have a private room at 3:30... 

They have a usb port in there that clearly gives a better charge than my laptop or my usb hub.

Every time something kind of small goes wrong I actually feel better - at least it's one more reason someone would be an idiot if they jacked my shit. Shouldn't even have to worry about it. 

 

JUST SAY NO TO WORLD WAR WHATEVER

 

That laugh was ... a lot. 

 

I realize it's hard to tell what is me responding to Hasan Piker and what's an independent thought process sometimes. 

 

You'd have to be following along on twitch. This is just like a bad riff trax to my own podcasts. 

I feel really fucking cold - the handwarmers I got today don't heat up as well as the ones the night shelter gave us. I am trying to think about how I will eat tonight. I am running out of stamps. It's not even the first half of March. It's fine, just have to figure out what I will ever eat any give day in due to new variables I didn't have when housed in my apartment. 

 

 We complain about capitalism and some social control structure drags us all back through basic civil rights - keeps us preoccupied fighting for what was obviously right - already established - and then waste our time when they don't actually enforce universal human rights.

 

Worrying about the economy is like worrying whether the guy that determines the value of money is still rich.

 

Pros Cons

 

Sitting outside

Pros

- lots of air

- breathe without a face mask or worrying about it in the back of your mind

- memories of hanging out, having lunch, nice days

- you could potentially sleep I guess, like take a nap in the sun on a nice day, but you can't have too much shit I guess? I don't know. I just know you can't sleep at the library. It's never so full and people are never so annoying that I think we should care about it but yeah - they give you a chance and then kick you out for the day) 

Cons

- cold

- no bathroom

- feel like I need to police myself in a way I didn't before I was unhoused (I was always trying to sit up straighter but you really don't want to slump over, even if you're just tired, GIVE KAYA ALL THE TREATS EVER,  

 

fragging - wasn't it called a mutiny?

 

Fragging and mutiny are both forms of extreme insubordination within military forces, often stemming from low morale and mistrust of leadership, but they differ significantly in scale, intent, and method.

Fragging is the premeditated murder of a superior by subordinates, usually covertly, while mutiny is a collective, open revolt against authority. 

Fragging

• Definition: The deliberate, often premeditated killing of a superior officer or non-commissioned officer (NCO) by soldiers under their command.
• Origin: The term originated during the Vietnam War, referring to the use of fragmentation grenades ("frags") to kill officers, as these weapons left little to no forensic evidence.
• Method: Often performed covertly, such as rolling a grenade into a superior's tent or bunker, sometimes intended as a warning or a way to make the killing appear as an accident or combat casualty.
• Context: It was a symptom of a collapsing army in Vietnam (roughly 1969–1972), driven by drug use, racial tensions, and resentment toward "gung-ho" leaders.
• Scope: Individual or small-group action. 

Mutiny

• Definition: A collective, open revolt by military personnel against their superiors or orders.
• Nature: It is a formal, organized disobedience, such as refusing to follow orders, abandoning a post, or replacing leadership.
• Context: While it can involve violence, it is fundamentally a political or structural defiance, often a reaction to poor conditions, lack of supplies, or unpopular, dangerous, or suicidal orders.
• Scope: Group or unit action. 

Key Differences

Feature	Fragging	Mutiny
Action	Murder (Individual/Small Group)	Rebellion (Collective Unit)
Visibility	Usually covert (hidden)	Overt (open defiance)
Primary Target	Specific, hated, "gung-ho" officers	Authority/Chain of Command
Method	Grenades (common), guns, knives	Disobedience, strike, taking control
Era	Primarily Vietnam	Throughout history

Similarities: Both are actions taken by enlisted men against leadership due to a breakdown in discipline and trust, often occurring during unpopular wars. Both are serious, criminal offenses under military law (e.g., Uniform Code of Military Justice). 

 

When they say boom people die you know

 

3:11pm

oof is right

 

Playing Fail Safe ending again 

Such a butthole for playing that goddamn song again

The phrase "have sex with adult women" just screams barely old enough to have sex yet period

 How are we getting footage if there's no internet? Some news source might have back up special stuff

 

If they hate you here they are bigoted assholes 

Anyone who hates me is a bigoted asshole

 

 3:25pm

Make the day worthwhile

Yeah, sure, say the same thing to no one : just say no to world war whatever

I think they got the point already. 

 

I didn't hear what the guy said at all but hey, who cares.

 

 They made me suck on a fart yesterday. Why don't you all get fucked together? Maybe it would actually change the world or something?

 

Reasons why Fail Safe is kinda funny

Once again, the person inside isn't on the list - which I would not care about at all if they hadn't made such a big deal about locking the room or whatever.

 

Just feel more vulnerable to people fucking with you when you have no power than before.

 

Response to my own inner dialog: yeah you're right I wouldn't even be outside if I hadn't been evicted. Yep. Any chance you know about people who deliberately disabled me?  

 I am so fucking tired.

 

At least this time it didn't smell like farts. But yeah, any given person in a small space for two hours should have some amount of air time and sanitizer between people. 

So glad my life is being frustrated to death because you wanna prove how much you don't care every day. 

What do I want for dinner? 

Wish it felt even more like a cafeteria space - with microwave and hot water and internet.

Oh fuck I meant to ask for a towel for when I might get my period.  

Something in my psyche wants to scream "ewwww get off me" 

 My headphones are gonna die soon...

 charging and eating bread the day shelter gave me with chinese mustard and sweet ginger chili sauce - I feel better.

 

 google ai:

Service members are legally obligated to disobey orders that are unlawful, such as those violating the U.S. Constitution, international law, or the Geneva Conventions

. Under the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ), obedience is not a defense for committing war crimes or crimes against humanity. The oath of service is to the Constitution, not a specific leader. 

Key Aspects of the Duty to Disobey:

• Definition of Unlawful Orders: Orders that require the commission of a crime, violate human rights, or are, on their face, illegal.
• Legal Basis: Article 90 and 92 of the UCMJ require obedience only to lawful commands.
• Individual Responsibility:
  Following orders is not a valid defense in court-martial or international tribunals if the order was patently illegal
  .
The "Nuremberg Principle": Since WWII, it has been established that individuals are accountable for their actions, even when following orders.
Constitutional Protection: The oath to the Constitution takes precedence over obeying a superior officer. 

While this duty is clearly defined in military law, determining the "lawfulness" of an order can be a complex legal question, usually determined by a court-martial after the order is refused. 

 

4:31pm

Story idea:

They made "safe routes to school"

people complain because their kids seem pampered and they need to establish a tough reputation early so people can't fuck with them later in life

so they deliberately set it up for kids to "adventure" to school and then save the super paved pathways for people they want to make feel "like they went to heaven". And you see two characters discussing the logic behind this and they say "there was nothing better" - we were never going to mars, or getting off the planet. We needed to design lives for people so they could be rewarded or punished as a means of control - and once someone has that control they never want to give it up, lest they become of the the "controlled".

 

 5:04pm

Got some duolingo time in - that's fun. I feel so fucking tired. When I leave in about a half how I don't think I should get a coffee or anything to eat - just make sure I pee before I leave the library and try to sit somewhere. I feel unknown pressure to change up where I go every day. If the library gets sick of you - well damn. Wonder if they'd feel different about me if I had been so obviously alone every day instead. Or if the problem is now I'm not talking to the same people as much that I talked to for the last couple weeks. 

I've been in this shelter since Feb 13th, right? This is the third week?

Feels like a lot longer. 

Like on and off my whole life rearranged into different sleeping arrangements. 

 

I was too tired to even explain the bullshit today - why be so mad at someone who doesn't seem to have it all together in the first place? Save your energy to argue with the actual RFK or something.

Why the fuck would Hasan ever ... nevermind.