Tomorrow is here ✨️

 I need someone to know what's going on with me in case anything happens.

I am trying to go to a place that will connect me with services tomorrow. Right now I don't really have somewhere to stay overnight. I might be able to get a voucher or a shelter bed but I don't know. I have been terrified of the shelters and getting sick for years - I wasn't medically isolated for fun (we pulled out of the WHO today by the way). This is truly a demented nightmare. Everyone saying eviction is murder was right. 

I don't want to die. I don't want this to happen to anyone else ever again. Eviction alone is monstrous and wrong. Someone else should not own your ability to live. It is even more unbelievably cruel to do to someone disabled and who can't function very well. I am scared something inside me will collapse or explode. I can't push myself like I could - I really need medical assistance. I need to know someone isn't going to assume somehow this is my fault or just let me die. I need the world to care about each other enough to not just let it be normal that people get put in positions of genocide: of war, of social murder, of displacement, of abuse, of homelessness.

Please fucking care enough to support services and mentalities that don't think this is funny or a way to make money or some sick Olympics or any other dystopian holocaust shit people have ever done. 

I want to encourage the humanity in everyone without saying the same things that have always been said.

I don't want to fucking die and I wanted love and friends and home and family of my own and art and science and figuring shit out about the universe then sharing it in fun and fantastical ways. 

I wanted the best life possible for everyone. 

I don't want to be humiliated and destroyed as a joke in someone else's story and everything good - about life, about thinking, about dreaming, about me - just disappears. 

I want my apartment back. I want the life I was building. I don't want someone to call me trash and throw me away. I want to live to keep being an advocate for universal human rights.

I need this nightmare to stop. For everyone. 

Please email me or something. I desperately need a friend. Someone to know if the phone died and where I am. Someone to know if I started feeling sick and then went silent because I collapsed or something. Someone with smart eyes who can look over everything and help me. I need help and it has felt like talking to only the air for so long, maybe I am delusional to hope someone will reach out and stay around but I am so fucked and if nothing else you can argue making an atheist go into prayer mode is it's own example of psychological abuse. Making anyone go into prayer mode, no matter their belief system, has to be a sign you've pushed them too far. Please stop playing god and just help people. 

I need to leave where I am soon and I walk to a place people kept recommending for help. It's cold. I'm terrified. My phone has also been doing this out of network thing and I don't know if it will hold onto the internet Hotspot when I'm out. 

If you're awake and can, please contact me: laura.gamari@gmail.com

Please don't let bad shit happen to me - anyone out there. 

https://www.gofundme.com/f/please-help-stop-eviction-into-homelessness