3:30am [Right Now]

I don't want to think about it
not right now

I don't want it to hurt about it
not right now

I don't want a poem about it
not right now

I just want to numb it out and
forget about it
for right now'

Everything I did wrong
Friends will say I didn't
Who can say if they weren't there?
Who can know if they weren't there?
Was He?
Was I?
Were we?
Even half the time?
How much can you remember when you were trying not to feel?

Let it go for right now

Let it be for right now

Let it heal for right now

Before my heart implodes
scattering shattered mirrors

Before my tears drown me
and I float away on their river

Before my hands keep writing
Shitty, half-assed, poetry
The kind most people don't put online
But they have a different kind of shame than me

No, no please no more!
not right now
not tonight
nothing's right now

Please, let me just feel free
Let me believe
We're all going to be
Alright now