wake up alone
sore teeth
snot tinged with blood
wonder if anyone who ever said they loved you
still does
or did
or if you could trust them again
either way
is this really what someone wanted for me
to be alone
to be broken
to be struggling
to feel like such a nothing?
not that I'm complaining
not that I'm saying I don't want to live
(I do want to live.)
feels as if I can't complain
no longer allowed somehow
can't say anything
or that's just another reason I'm a pain in the ass
things went from personal preference
to life and death
really fucking quick
I wouldn't wish these feelings on anyone
why would anyone be so vicious towards me
just because they could
how could anyone who ever knew me think I deserved this
it must be in my head
just afraid that's what they think
but if it's true
where are they then
where are my friends?
how did I seem to misplace them?
and so many?
starts to get easier to think
maybe they never cared for me at all
but that's insulting if they did
and I miss them
and wish they were still around
does anyone wish I was still around?
(you'll never get an answer if you only ask the air)
is it really just time to go it alone
or am I kidding myself
look at my broken teeth
my thinning hair
swollen feet
as if to say
look at how unloved I am
I'm falling apart
why is it like this
I will be gone and no one will notice
there must be some mistake
how could you not love me at all
why is it like this
how could I be so stuck on people who didn't even like me
for anyone?
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