6pm
Feeling a million times better, oh my god
How do I convey the relief? The difference between this and that agony?
I'm talking about both my toothache and the election
Just as I shouldn't take this to mean I can skip seeing a dentist
we shouldn't think everything is fixed now that Biden's president
but on both counts I prefer right now to how it's been
that's for certain
the pain is exhausting
but now that I feel better
I don't want to waste time
couldn't think
couldn't draw
couldn't eat
couldn't sleep
tried sitting up
with water in my mouth
that did not work out well
finally caved and bought some orajel
lucky to have the means
thought it wasn't working at first
but it's just been a dull discomfort for at least an hour or two
far reduced from the way the pain would grow up my face
like when characters get poisoned in superhero movies
the way it shot through my gums
top and bottom teeth
drilled through my ear
up around my sinuses
carving into my head
how could anyone suffer through that for long
hurts so bad you can't see
I told him he made me feel expendanble
and he - being who taught me the word and the concept - replied
that he felt expendable too
but I just needed to hear that people were not
we don't live in soylent green
that's not the episode of twilight mirror limits that we're watching
If anything today should be celebratory
I suppose it is
I only just started being pain free about an hour ago
maybe I just need time to adjust
and I can feel my full happy
6:25pm
what will the next four years
or even just one
bring us?
this is why I wish for
as little pain as possible
oh man no one should have to
ever feel that
go through that
ugh it's awful
all my joints are swollen on my right side
well that's not good
already taken between 12 and 15 naproxen today
2 ml of rso
orajel
I don't want to
but I think I should try to
go back to
sleep again
something healing
like a cat purring
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