Hello,
This is long but I need to communicate this to you before it's too late. I am reaching out to anyone I can think of for help.
I keep asking for help and I feel ignored.
My options are increasingly limited.
This
is my only home. I have nowhere else to go. I cannot leave my low
income studio apartment. I need to keep my internet and phone number to
survive. It's all I have right now to communicate, know anything, or get
food.
I am disabled now and cannot do what I used to do for work before 2020. I have been surviving under duress.
Mental Health:
Diagnosed and put of Effexor XR for PTSD, depression, and anxiety in college (2008-2012).
Stopped
taking Effexor and became an official medical cannabis patient in
Portland. I am also a licensed budtender. I have not been able to afford
medicine consistently.
I
have had 9 therapists throughout my life. I could have been a therapist
myself if I had been able to go to grad school. My entire family has
been part of the mental health world and medicated in ways that clearly
did not help them. Advice to talk to a therapist is insulting at this
point.
Physical health:
Had
a history of pneumonia/chronic bronchitis and have been put on
antibiotics multiple times, including being in the hospital for
something popping in my back/lung in October 2018. The old property
manager had to help me get to the hospital and get medicine back then. I
don't have anyone to call for help.
Other
medical history but unsure if it's connected. I'm not trying to give
all my personal information but it doesn't seem like people care or
understand how seriously I have been hurt.
Filling
fell out and tooth broke apart in 2020 while isolated inside. Horrible
pain. Have had multiple absess bubbles on the gum line by the bad tooth
but they go away.
Then
May 1st 2022 - suspiciously after property management switched and I got
two deliveries - something horrible went wrong with my back. I had
eaten a new hot sauce [brand is the same as the shit someone just put by
my door...would love to know how they knew the brand or why they'd
think that was funny or okay to do] and threw up from the pain. Couldn't
sleep laying down, had to sit up in a chair. Thought I was going to
die. Worst pain of my life, and the tooth was really bad (Orajel 4x made
it stop). Pain waves last for like 2 weeks but subsided. I looked up
many different possible reasons from organ issues to muscle/spine
issues. I still don't know. When I started using RSO/FECO again it felt
like my body was literally healed but something is "disconnected" from
my spine. It still feels like something is wrong often. I have no
energy. I think my muscle tone has deteriorated from being curled up in
the same small area for so long. I have been doing my laundry by hand
and have been able to stand to scrub it for less and less time. I have a
broken down feeling that stretches from the left side of my jaw and
neck (where the bad tooth is) all the way down to the bad part of my
back.
I get winded
taking a long shower. Someone stole my toilet paper and I have had to
shower to clean myself when I use the bathroom. I get help from charity
services online sometimes but it doesn't always work and then people
stealing the donations is destroying my life.
I
could not possibly just "go back to work" cleaning or standing at a
register like I used to. I am supposed to be a professional scifi poet
but this situation has not been something where I can't really get my
writing work done. I have no intention of leaving after everything I
have been put through.
To
add insult to injury (and injustice) when whoever is in the room next
door or upstairs pounds on my apartment is does literally feel like I am
being beaten up without being touched. The weaponized sound outside has
mostly stopped but would also feel like being beaten up. After 2020 my
brain felt literally bruised. It hits right through my sternum and
heart. I think they know what they're doing and are literally trying to
kill me.
I don't know what to do but I am disabled now and haven't been able to get my mail due to neighbor harassment.
Being
isolated inside has also clearly impacted my vision and the
LRAD/weaponized sound abuse I have had to protest against for years now
has had an impact on my hearing. I have had to wear earplugs and play
something constantly to block out all the random and cruel weaponized
sound both in and outside of the building. If it's just quiet then any
sound is like being punched.
Finally,
I was also blocked from voting in May due to the neighbor harassment
and I don't know what to do about November's election. Being
deliberately stopped from voting feels like an even bigger problem.
I
understand this is long and personal. I still don't feel I have said
everything I need to say. I have tried to communicate as clearly as
possible.
If I am pushed
outside I think it will seriously kill me. I am terrified. I am not
trying to die. I have been surviving under duress. Please understand. I
need you to know. Please do not kill me.
-L.
My life is a protest.🗽
Universal human rights or everything is bullshit✨️
Intersectional solidarity💜
*this email is meant for intended recipient(s) only*
June 19, 2025:
June 20, 2025:
Thank you for your response
I think my building has been taken over by fraudulent activity and the local authorities are in on it. I am being terrorized on a regular if not daily basis in various ways since COVID shut downs.
All the money they ever got out of me or anyone else for rent should be returned. This has been torture. I moved into the building in March of 2015.
I am currently being terrorized as I write this. They are pounding on my walls so loud and hard it feels like I am being beaten up and stuff is shaking in my room.
It is not the first time and I have reported them constantly. They won't stop.
There does not seem to be anyone to call for help.
I hate scams in all forms and I feel used and left for dead.
At least I was able to let someone know.
I have no where else to go and I refuse to be used anymore. I should not have ever been bullied out of my home or my life. It feels I have been messed with every step of the way - but it became a global issue in 2020 because of COVID. Then people were attacking my streets and building trying to "blend" with the protests of 2020. This is beyond wrong - I am not a cop, a soldier, a spy, or a slave - I am a civilian- and I had to figure out how to explain it.
These are crimes against humanity.
This situation is slowly killing me.
They may try to switch around who they will say is attacking me but there was a man named Dean Burney who used to live upstairs and Gail Ferguson was the main occupant next door. I think they coordinated with management to hurt me. I was told Dean Burney moved out, but Gail has still been harassing me - and clearly her friends - to the very moment of writing this. I also know she is willing to lie.
I do not lie.
Thank you for understanding and caring,
L.
universal human rights or everything is bullshit ✨️
June 20, 2025
10:02pm
My neighbor Gail Ferguson who seems determined to attach herself to my life for some reason though I have no connection to her whatsoever tried to break into my apartment tonight
The sound before I have a panic attack is her fucking with the lock itself
They showed up and started banging on the walls and door (AGAIN) about a week ago
I cannot work, cannot function, and I refuse to be bullied out of my only home
I have survived under duress for the last five years and cannot leave my unit
This is domestic terrorism and social murder
I am in pain
June 21, 2025
Neighbor Gail Ferguson just came at me when I opened my door for groceries saying"are you scared are you scared" while I was bent over without my glasses and is continuing to mess with my door.
They stuck a feather in the keyhole apparently last night it sounded like they were trying to break into the apartment.
Her and her friends - I have seen other people leave her unit and she said she had a son "putting in a TV" the first time she banged on the wall in 2020 - I have never instigated the wall banging.
She has lied to the camera and I don't trust her enough to even try to be diplomatic.
I have sent you video of her following me out of my unit, blocking my way upstairs, and holding me there while I could not breathe. That was why I didn't leave even the unit itself since 2024.
I have not left the building since 2020.
You said you would investigate harassment.
This is all on camera from the hallway.
I am continuing to survive under duress.
I am now disabled and cannot work or function because of this bullshit since COVID shut downs and she has participated in torturing me every step of the way.
They do shit outside as well - it seems they're mad I found a way to block out the outside noise.
No amount of money is giving me back five years of my life or any health I had at the start of the pandemic.
I will not die FOR ANYONE.
I HAVE NO WHERE TO GO AND HAVE BEEN TOTALLY DRAINED OF RESOURCES.
IT FEELS LIKE THEY FOLLOW ME AROUND THE APARTMENT EVEN IN THE BATHROOM.
I HAVE TOLD MANAGEMENT: IHI, IPM, PINEHURST, AND PILINA THIS FOR YEARS.
THIS ABUSE HAS TO STOP.
I DO NOT CONSENT TO ANYTHING.
MY LIFE IS A PROTEST.
I am 35 years old and have now spent 5 years of my life under duress in this studio apartment meant to house vulnerable people.
I have been gassed with several different chemicals and messed with in every possible way. I am a medical cannabis patient and licenced budtender and was told upon move in that vaping was fine - whatever they are pumping into my room, this is not that. This is some gross unknown combination of smells that make me feel sick.
I have not been able to afford medicine I need because this situation is making it impossible for me to work even remotely. I can't even sing anymore. My body has deteriorated. It is killing me.
If all this is part of someone's idea of the "war on drugs" then it is a war crime against people with disabilities. I am not here to be trained or used. I am not a cop. I am not a soldier. I am not a spy. I am not a slave.
I do not consent.
You can't do this to people.
They seem to think this is funny. It has felt like I am being beaten up in my room when they pound on the walls.
A group.of people were yelling "get out go home" in 2020 and clearly people expected whoever wasn't "in on the joke" - if not me specifically - to just leave.
I will not leave.
I am well within my rights and have full reason and logic. No one should be bullied out of their home or their life.
I have said they use people with sirens in the area to either appear to be police participating or actually are police and fire participating in torturing me. Either way, there is no authority here I am bound to respect as the social contract has been broken since 2020 - which I HAVE SAID BEFORE.
THIS FEELS LIKE SOME KIND OF REAL ESTATE SCAM. THIS BUILDING WAS MEANT TO HOUSE AND HELP VULNERABLE POOR AND DISABLED PEOPLE. I HAVE BEEN POOR MY WHOLE LIFE AND NEEDED THIS TO SURVIVE. PEOPLE HAVE HURT ME EVERY STEP OF THE WAY. THIS FEELS LIKE A HATE CRIME.
She keeps saying "everybody hates you" and this time said something about not having any cops to call for help.
It feels like they want to act out an old gangster movie or something. Feels like The Fratellis from The Goonies.
It is 11:54am and they are banging on my apartment. They have not let me be at home in my own home. This is the only home I have. This is wrong.
I am trying to get everything in one email but I am currently having a panic attack and I don't want to waste time checking this over - it is not a complete statement of all events since 2020.
I do not instigate or provoke people, I do not mess with people - I am anti-war and I do not want an altercation with anyone. She seems to want me to fight her - I will not.
No one should be entering or trying to enter my unit - especially not a neighbor, from above or the side or outside or otherwise.
This is the only qay I have to defend myself: write, record, and stream my protest.
Messing with people's food, medicine, mail, and housing is a war crime and a crime against humanity.
This has been domestic terrorism and social murder and it has damaged me in every possible way.
I am not leaving my unit because I don't want anything bad to happen and I refuse to be used for someone else's awful agenda. I feel clearly targetted. I told management it felt like I was being gangstalked during ast inspection. I refuse to deal with anyone popping up out of nowhere like she just did to me today. I will not be provoked into a fight so mean people can feel better about themselves.
I have PTSD. Everything since 2020 made it worse.
I am not doing anything wrong or illogical, and if anyone had cared they would know that.
I have said multiple times there seems to be a conflict of interest with jobs and bosses and connections to the building, as well. Specifically relating to OPID, IPM, and the Fire Police Retirement Office, as well as members on the IHO board of directors.
Please check the goddamn hallway cameras.
*this email is meant for intended recipient(s) only*
universal human rights or everything is bullshit ✨️
intersectional solidarity ✨️
for real love,
L.
Please see the forwarded email. Thank you for talking to me.
*this email is meant for intended recipient(s) only*
universal human rights or everything is bullshit ✨️
intersectional solidarity ✨️
for real love,
L.
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