Questions

Questions no one can answer for me (in no particular order):

will people who have not been changed in any positive way over the past year ever change?

if you haven't learned by now, what do you need to learn that you haven't learned yet?

what idea could you possibly be exposed to - and in what way - that would finally make you understand the point?

are racist/bigoted people just jealous of everyone else?

can that jealousy ever turn into love instead?

why would anyone ever want to be associated with nazis/fascism?

why do people feel the need to control other people's lives?

why does it feel like some people still hate women?

why do people even still care about gender norms?

why does it feel like someone wants to ruin my life?

why do people still want to dictate who consenting adults can love?

why do people get to be so stupid and cruel to the point of being evil while people who care suffer?

why do people still want to punish humanity for being a bag of chemicals that uses chemicals to feel better?

why do people still want to control what other people do with their own bodies in general?

if you have such good reasons for the ways you think things should be, shouldn't you be able to convince me by appealing to my own sense of logic?

not having to make me or trick me like a child?

why didn't we educate everyone the same?

why do people have such vastly different ideas of what to do in a crisis?

have you noticed every demographic being terrorized in some way throughout the pandemic?

why did some people just not seem to care?

will the powerful ever willingly share their power?

will the people doing the most harm ever be able to acknowledge that and right it without a big fight?

will the fight always be so unfair that the oppressed don't really stand a chance?

is there a movement to try and make people leave their homes/cities out of fear?

were people supposed to learn about health and racial justice during 2020?

was that "the point"?

was it all more about classism and disobedience at the end of the day?

why is "classism" the only word here my spell check didn't know?

was it psychological warfare?

am I supposed to be terrified of police/authority corruption now?

even if I don't know what I'm supposed to do about that?

why are there people harassing me with noise and pollution as if they want me to hate them?

what is with the disturbing obsession with fire?

what are people supposed to do when their peaceful protest is ignored but they don't want to use violence either?

why isn't there a healthy and painless way to be justifiably angry?

why isn't there more of a focus on changing legislation?

why didn't seeing police brutalizing protesters night after night create more change?

did people not see what I saw?

even though it was publicly streamed night after night for over 100 days on twitter?

was I supposed to do more than care and contemplate while isolated in quarantine?

what, exactly?

what can I do now?

have I been personally right to stay in quarantine after ending up in the ER in 2018 for lung issues, or will time prove me to be a huge disappointment/idiot who is wasting their life even as I type this?

why am I always tired/tired so quickly/easily?

did police and other response teams retaliate in response to the protests?

did violence go up to "prove why we need them"?

did I get "saved" by government assistance throughout the pandemic to prove how much I need the current system?

who are you supposed to go to for help when you can't trust authorities?

especially when you don't want the potential consequences of seeking their help?

why didn't the city fund the unarmed wellness based response program?

who watches the watchers?

who polices the police?

did you notice people being punished no matter their politics or philosophy/used as bad examples based on behavior?

how much of what you've seen/heard/learned is real?

do we not have words to explain what's going on?

do we not have the physical attention span to even listen?

just what can we change for the better - and how?

are we taking part in a test few people know about?

if you know exactly what's going on - why is that?

does someone want to force people to stay isolated and away from each other?

is it good to stay away from each other - more often - or at least for now?

is it safe for people to keep doing what they always used to do?

was it never "safe" but your participation gives some kind of implied consent so no one cares if bad things happen?

what is brave supposed to mean?

should we be wearing face masks all the time - or at least during flu season every year from now on?

why isn't anyone explaining that living in a city is like living in a crowd?

why did everything I ever wanted or loved get ruined?

why are we using the same tactics to combat the virus that were used 100 years ago (wash hands, socially distance)?

why does it make sense for anyone to wait in line?

would more people have gone to protests if there wan't a pandemic?

while it's a good thing - why didn't protests lead to upticks in the virus?

is the virus being used to cover up another illness or health issue?

was it to make people quit smoking?

did they really take menthols away to punish people who had said "I can't breathe"?

why doesn't the government care more about pollution if they care about our health so much?

why not give people a universal basic income, free education at any age, free healthcare, housing for all, a higher quality of life for everyone - if they care about our well-being?

why didn't leaders sit down on day one and protect people - especially vulnerable people, poor people, unhoused people, people in communal settings, forgotten people - from spending a whole year or more freaking out over possibly losing their homes, businesses, and lives?

how wasn't the timing of the virus so obviously weird to everybody (election, protests, etc.)?

is this part of some kind of invisible war/holocaust/genocide/targeted massacre?

are they trying to "drive people crazy" or push them to act in ways they wouldn't have usually?

has everything good been somehow corrupted/overtaken/overridden for a negative agenda?

does the government want people to breed future generations that would make the perfect astronauts - intelligent, yet obedient - strong, fit, unattached/unaddicted to anything - willing to die for a cause?

will thousands end up dying in the name of space travel before one group might get very far at all?

is it all so complicated, with so many moving parts, so many individual players and/or interest groups that no one person alone will ever figure it all out?

what does whoever is really in charge/has the most power want?

why can't we tell them no if what they want is evil?

was this about equalizing everyone's experiences?

was this about negating experiences?

was this just about terrorizing people?

is the stress meant to kill us - at least earlier than we would have otherwise died?

is it a super complicated real estate scheme from hell?

was it meant to instill world peace and it just didn't work?

is it whatever your worst nightmares would lead you to believe?

is it all happening for some kind of genuinely good reason?

am I just an outsider so that's why I don't know what's going on?

does anybody (else) care?