Some people don't want to remedy situations.
They don't want to sit down and speak their truth
listen to your response
give each other time to think and explain
build an understanding together.
To take on your shared grievances
as a psychologist or mediator or best-parent-ever
might.
No.
They have been in pain for too long.
They have been angry for too long.
They have been shut down for too long.
They do not feel you deserve that.
They do not have the energy or ability to settle with you.
They want to be mad.
They want to hate you.
They want to destroy you.
To destroy what you mean to them.
What they see in you.
What they remember.
What they identify as an enemy.
Generations of rage.
Not given what they need to thrive.
Evolved to thrive off far less,
disgusted to see
the lives of those
who might have been them
been you
had the cells collided
just a little differently
between the universe and the womb.
But then
when you try to look through the eyes of someone who hates you
and not necessarily accept or believe
but understand
why
they think and do
as they do
You see a few different things:
How arbitrary all our bullshit beliefs might be if only we had been raised differently.
How blindly people will stick to what they have a personal stake in believing is absolutely true.
Which makes total sense and is obviously natural, no hard feelings
but we can evolve in any direction we choose.
Reach out and reach in.
Question ourselves and each other to ensure our own validity.
Not to be cruel, but to be helpful.
Suffering reaps more suffering, healing reaps more healing.
IT'S THE ONLY THING WE HAVEN'T REALLY TRIED
IN THE KNOWN HISTORY OF HUMAN KIND
PEOPLE COME ON
WAR DOESN'T BRING US PEACE
BUT PEACE MIGHT
Deliberately make an effort to adapt if confronted with a new truth.
Better truths.
Truths that are true for both me and you.
Speak to the unspoken things, because those are what we most take for granted.
For example: I am a human like you.
I'm just figuring things out.
I don't mean to sound like an expert.
I just notice these things, and I feel they're worthwhile to share.
That's kind of what I do.
I'm not trying to make money
though obviously my life would be different if I had more.
(Whose wouldn't?)
This is my life's work
it's supposed to be universal
above money or pride or hate.
Just one example out of the billions that have walked the earth
and if we all had these scientific intentions
maybe we'd solve some problems.
Again, I'm not perfect or an expert.
And I've written things I don't feel anymore.
And I've written things I've grown out of.
And I've written things I wish I'd given so much more attention
because just a couple extra sentences really would have explained it better
but at some point if you don't post it, you never will at all.
It's part of what living feels like for me.
I'm just a person
but am I just like you
or have I been taking that
for granted too?
What does living feel like for you?
Do you have an outlet, like writing, like I do?
Do you even feel compelled to have one?
I can also identify with the call to fight, the call to rise
so it's not as if
I never had an angry feeling in my life
far, far, far from it
I just don't see it helping us
as much as re-education and compassion
might.
You can be powerful
without being enraged.
But then again
people keep hurting me
and I keep being the only one saying sorry.
So maybe one of my own
arbitrary biases
could be that
sentimentality.
On the other hand
if we just fight and hurt and scare each other
what the fuck is the point?
I can understand being insulted.
Wounded. Betrayed. Disappointed. Dismissed.
I can understand not wanting to choke down your pain.
I can understand not wanting to say fucking sorry.
Not anymore.
But if we could rewind
go back to before we were so damaged
that we stopped wanting to care
if we could
re-build a world
where everyone was free
and we kept each other safe
as safe as we could
instead of this
constant
endless
unresolved
putrid
hate
wouldn't that at least be
a more enjoyable
if not better
quality of life
no matter who the fuck you are?
And the only way
to have that today
is to choose it.
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