July 4, 2022

People are dead again.

Remember there's always bigger, more important things than my personal bullshit again.

Somewhere a parent is crying over the body of their dead child again.

A totally unnecessary death again.

Wondering - again - why anyone would do such a thing - again.

My ears hurt again.

Fireworks blasted off directly on the street again.

3am again.

Wasn't even the 4th of July when it started again.

Motorcycles ripping past again.

Booming bass so loud it strips my ear canals again.

Followed by cycles of dead silence again.

Fear of eviction again.

COVID cases on the rise again.

Don't know what I'm going to do again.

Still alone again.

Don't want anybody in my life because if they showed up I'd never want them to leave again.

With children, or not, how are you supposed to not live in fear again?

Trying to make sense of the world again.

People are demonizing human rights advocates, activists, and protesters again.

Holding back so I don't sound like a cliche dismissable conspiracy theorist again. 

Feeling disposable, expendable, unwanted, trash again.

Knowing I'm not, but how am I supposed to convince people that hate me to love me again?

You can't make people love you again.

Did I tell you someone set off the fire alarm for no reason again?

The company that manages the property changed, so I thought maybe that would stop, but it's the same old shit again.

Nothing matters again.

I got my hopes up that I'd make music, a video game, an electronic narrative that would help people, but I've had a hard time again.

The project has me reviewing everything since the start of the pandemic again.

I'm overwhelmed again.

I should try again.

But right now I just feel tired again.

So here's another bad kind of poetry just to feel like I've done something again.

Probably won't be read by anyone again.

Better than nothing - ever - again.