This one goes out to all my bros:
Oh you're so cool and vulgar and filthy and risque.
So tough and cold-blooded.
Do you feel powerful?
Do you feel pain?
Throwing middle fingers with a smile on your face.
Everything's a sex joke when you just want to get laid.
Still, you make me laugh. So what's that say?
Damnit, why do I love you?
The cigarette in your mouth
while you're taking a piss.
The way you lounge back
with your arm behind your head.
The crooked joker smile.
Black heart twisted with gold.
Get a thrill from selling your soul.
God, you love being an asshole.
No feelings.
No fucks.
You calm me down.
I love you.
I can't help it.
But you're a middle finger
and I'm a peace sign.
Not that I don't enjoy
a deserved flip off
from time to time.
You'd think they'd be perfect for each other,
but you don't feel the rush, the zap,
the hair stand up on the back of your neck
when I'm just being my self.
Too nice. Too honest.
Always saying sorry.
Chain-smoking cigarettes
and talking talking talking.
Vulnerable
like a walking exposed nerve
the heart on my sleeve is endlessly bleeding
(and you don't see the strength in that)
Social Justice Warrior
Emo Kid
Grew up under a rock
College educated idiot
Half your jokes go over my head,
or I just don't think they're that funny.
They don't strike me.
Or I laugh because you're being ridiculous.
Vulgar. Risque.
It is fun to push boundaries.
But my heart is gold twisted with black.
And I hate being an asshole.
I usually just can't help it.
I prefer chaotic good.
Isn't that where we intersect?
You're going to leave me alone
and take for granted
I'll be here
if you ever wanted
or needed
to come back.
Even if it's just to leave again.
Or you really feel better off
treating me like I'm dead.
Maybe you have no plan.
Maybe you have no worry
of what might have been
had you stayed in my life.
Or what will be
without you in it.
Because you're a middle finger
and I'm a peace sign
and you went
right through me
when I should have been the one
who cut you off
but I loved you instead.
I still just don't understand
why you would have said it
so much
if you really didn't love me back.
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