My Mild Concussion [Fall]

So, um, last Saturday I passed out for the first time in my life and fell down. I woke up on the floor, yelling involuntarily. I must've only been out for a moment, because I started to feel the blood run behind my ear as I lay there wondering why in the hell I had gone to sleep on the floor, and why my head suddenly hurt so fucking much. That's when I saw the blood. And realized I had been standing. 

That weird indent? We're thinking it's from my head hitting the floor.

So I knew I needed someone to look at the back of my head - I don't have any small mirrors I could hold up or anything - the shit you wish you had in an emergency, geeze. Anyway, I called all my friends, and no one answered. I thought I was going to die, right then. Fucking alone and bleeding from the head because of my own idiocy. I freaked out. I cried. I kept calling people. 

I called Allie 18 times, which she kept reminding me when she arrived at my house a little bit later with a friend who had some first-aid training. Whatever was back there had stopped bleeding and I was holding my head in a towel. She gave me some gauze and said it didn't look like I needed to go to the hospital, and they'd stay with me a while and keep me awake.

all messy and matted with hair - after the bleeding stopped

I went to the health center at IC on Monday and they said if I'd come in earlier they would have stapled the laceration shut. I saw a Dr. Lorenzo who said she couldn't separate whether I was having symptoms of a concussion, depression, or withdrawal and gave me the impression that Dr. Selin (my new usual) would sort it out. However, when I returned Wednesday to see Dr. Selin, she hadn't spoken to Dr. Lorenzo and I think she was frustrated by me. She had wanted to talk about my medication, and the head wound seemed to be less important. I just wanted her to look at the damn thing but she did all the neurological tests again. I'm fine, I just feel a bit sick and generally tired, but less so as the week as progressed. I really don't want to be around a lot of noise and people though - it gives me a headache. I think that usually is the case though, or at least it used to be when I was paying attention.

So, long story short, Dr. Selin says I "probably very likely" have a concussion, and to avoid stressing myself out while my brain heals. I've been having some trouble sleeping, but that's not necessarily related. Otherwise, I'm gonna be alright, and we're gonna talk about my meds again on Friday. Oh, and I'll have this nice scar for fucking ever now:

ouch.

A Poem for 'The Hell Of It'

It's not that life is short or long,
it's that it's not for ever.

And if we all must die some day
the least we can do is try
not to go out in a stupid way.

It's not that life is short or long,
it's that it's not for ever.