Gumby, Jane, Foster, and I were graduating. From what, I'm not sure, since the people around were just a mix of everyone I've ever known. The ceremony was separated into two groups: H&S and another I can't remember the name of. On the programs that were handed out, each of the two had subtitles - H&S's was Go! but again I can't remember the other.
Throughout the dream, I was full of anxiety - at first because I had to register late for graduation (it was possible I wouldn't graduate at all) and then because I wasn't able to be with my friends. There was a party before we went into the giant graduation hall, and my three high school friends were nowhere to be found. At one point, a group of kids I used to know started laughing at me and I was so angry that my friends were not there. They were only being cruel because I was alone.
Gifts were handed out, and I saw this stack of CDs (some burned, but one was The Beatles "Black" - some mash-up cover album. I was excited and so sure that it must be for me (who else there would've wanted that?) But I was handed a burned CD instead. Feeling down about being laughed at and the lame, impersonal gift, I went to go find my friends.
I found the three in a back room chillin and laughing. I felt intrusive, but happy to be safe again. It's not that they were unhappy I finally arrived, but the mood and tone of the room had an obvious shift. It was then that I discovered Foster was given The Beatles "Black" album (this was not the same as the real one, fyi). I was about to tell him how awesome that was when he leaned in and whispered that he didn't actually have any interest in it. I recoiled from him, disgusted by his lack of appreciation and jealous that he would be chosen for something I wanted even though he himself didn't even want it.
Then we were called into the giant graduation hall. Dark hardwood floors and (for some reason) cushy chairs were all that occupied that hall before we flooded it with people. This was when the trouble really started.
Even though my three friends were in a different category than me, I tried desperately to be on stage with them - to graduate with them - but I got caught. These older people who I felt I knew in the dream but can't picture their faces now, well they sent me away from the whole ceremony. At one point, a bus dropped me off somewhere without any way to get back. I was forced to sit down with someone who acted like a shrink but didn't seem qualified and I had to explain my erratic behavior. I grew increasingly angry as I realized he didn't care, he was just distracting me from graduation - he was keeping me from my friends. It was as though they all decided I didn't belong and it was better if I wasn't there.
My last thought was being angry at myself. I should have just waited and graduated in my own section. I didn't realize it until that moment, but I would have rather been able to watch them walk across the stage - even if I couldn't be with them - than not be there at all.
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